[credit provider=”The White House, Flickr” url=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/whitehouse/5936651603/sizes/l/in/set-72157626931414827/”]
Summertime blues? Credit rating downgraded, economy crumbling, markets crashing and support collapsing? People clamoring for the plan you know you don’t have?Best to get out of town, let them think you’re sweatin’ out the strategy.
Of course, before you go, you can still exercise the privileges of office. Quietly. Through Executive Orders.
It’s a beautiful thing.
President Obama did just that on Thursday with an order designed to coordinate a “government-wide initiative to promote diversity and inclusion in the federal workforce.”
Executive order 13583 creates a council of deputy agency chiefs and federal workers charged with developing a government-wide plan to improve diversity in recruitment, training, and promotion of federal workers, all due within 90 days. After that, each federal agency will have 120 days to develop guidelines of their own.
Really. John Berry, the director of the Office of Personnel Management explained the action in a conference call and said that “the federal government has a special opportunity to lead by example”.
It’s about time, too. According to the Federal Office of Personnel Management, minorities represent only 38.8 per cent of the federal workforce and a mere 43.9 per cent of the federal workforce is female.
It’s a national disgrace, but hopefully, this bold act of leadership will start to right the wrongs. After all, if the EEOC has the courage to fight for the rights of dwarfs who can’t see over the counter at Starbucks, surely the Federal Government can ensure that there are more people of colour answering the phones at the IRS.
Feels good! How about another?
Things all a muddle in the Middle East? Did you alienate your strongest ally, swerve all over the Egyptian issue, and violate the War Powers Act in Libya? Worst of all, is that pissant, Bashar al-Assad still ignoring your Imperial will by refusing to step down?
Executive order 13582 should do it. It freezes the assets of the Syrian government in the U.S., imposes sanctions on the import of Syrian oil and forbids American investment there.
Of course, Syria is only ranked 31st in Oil production worldwide, right behind Ecuador, and 90% of that oil goes elsewhere, but it sounds good and no one will know. Better issue a tough statement too, condemning “the disgraceful attacks on Syrian civilians”. Do it in writing though, so you don’t have to answer any questions. Send Hillary out there: she loves those microphones.
That’s what I’m talking about, getting’ back in the groove. On a roll!
Get Janet on the phone!
Have those damn immigrant rights people been stirring the pot again, just because you didn’t get the Dream Act passed and haven’t extended amnesty yet?
Tell Janet to announce that we’re gonna stop deportation proceedings if our guests, the illegal immigrants meet certain tough criteria like if they attend school, have family in the military or the primary responsible for other family members’ care. Announce that we’ll evaluate things on a “case-by-case basis”. That should go nowhere
Sure, you’ve on record as saying that you don’t have the authority to halt deportations and that you’re required to follow the laws as Congress passed them, but that kind of thinking is such 20th century stuff. Janet can blow that away.
Have her write a letter to Congress saying that she has the discretion to focus on “priorities”, and that she and the Justice Department will review all the ongoing cases to see who meets the new criteria. Just tell her to say something like “This case-by-case approach will enhance public safety”.
Did you see where that pest Congressman Gutierrez got himself arrested last month protesting in front of the White House? This should shut him up for a while. He and La Raza should be able to read the damn signals. Obviously, Janet and Holder won’t be deporting anyone unless they’re serial killers or Republican contributors.
A good days work. Beats driving around in those damn buses out there in the middle of nowhere. Better get out of town though before Maxine calls back or someone notices all this. 10 days in the Vineyard and no-one will care.
Executive Orders. It’s a beautiful thing.