Help! My ex-girlfriend's company won't hire me

Ashley lutz ask the insiderBusiness InsiderAshley Lutz

Ask the Insider columnist Ashley Lutz answers all your work-related questions, including the awkward, sensitive, and real-world ones. Have a question? Email [email protected]
Dear Insider,

I recently got a job through a temp agency after being unemployed. A few days before I was due to start, I got an email from the company telling me they were terminating the offer because I didn’t disclose that my ex-girlfriend has a full-time job at the company, a violation of company policy.

I kept pushing for more information, and the representative eventually said my ex told them she wouldn’t be comfortable with me working there and would feel her safety was compromised. They believe I present a danger to this person, but there is no evidence to support that claim.

I feel upset that someone could assassinate my character, damage my reputation, and deprive me of a financial opportunity with no proof.

Is there a way for me to clear my reputation and get the job back?


My Ex Cost Me The Job ***

Dear Ex Cost Me The Job:

Your first mistake was accepting a job at your ex-girlfriend’s company with zero disclosure. How could you not see this was a bad idea? Did you really not think the past would catch up to you when she realised you would be working there?

No matter what your intentions, it looks sketchy when the employers uncover information like this. They might question if you were trying to use the job to get close to your ex. Because your she is already working at the company, her opinion is going to trump yours.

It sounds like the company has a policy on disclosing personal relationships. You could take another look at the policy and make sure you agreed to it when they terminated your contract. If you see any discrepancies, consult with a lawyer about your options.

Assuming you did agree to the policy, it’s time to move on. Sure, it’s disappointing to miss out on an opportunity. But dwelling on what your ex-girlfriend may have told her employer about why she doesn’t want you to work there won’t do any good. They have decided not to hire you, and it’s final.

You didn’t get this job because of a very specific circumstance, however, your relationship with your ex likely won’t hurt your career elsewhere. Accept this with grace and apply at other companies.

*** Ashley Lutz is a senior editor at Business Insider answering all your questions about the workplace. Send your queries to [email protected] for publication on Business Insider. Requests for anonymity will be granted, and questions may be edited.

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