ESPN’s Survival Tips For Poor Sports Fans


Here’s how to weather the recession if you love sports but are poor…and desperate.


  • Trade in your baseball cards.
  • Drop your HDTV package.
  • Don’t buy food at the game.
  • Sleep at the office and give up your home. (They call this pulling a “Gruden.” We’re not sure what that means.)
  • Manage your fantasy leagues at work. You’re probably going to be canned anyway. Might as well make money before that happens.
  • Re-evaluate your stock portfolio.
  • Sell yourself. Let places like pay you to wear temporay tattoos.
  • If you think you’re about to get laid off make sure you get yourself beaten up. A good method is to go to a sports bar and cheer for a team the regulars hate. Ideally, you will emerge quite bruised. The logic then goes that few companies would be heartless enough to toss someone who just got assaulted. Hmm.
  • Consider a career change. Experts say jobs in health care, education and government are usually stable during a poor economy. Or else you could become an athlete.