It’s not something you’re born with.
In his book 'Why Presidents Succeed,' University of California at Davis psychologist Dean Keith Simonton argues that the most effective communicators use concrete -- rather than abstract -- language.
''I feel your pain' has association,' he tells the APA Monitor, 'but 'I can relate to your viewpoint' doesn't. The most charismatic presidents reached an emotional connection with people talking not to their brains but to their gut.'
'Charismatic individuals express their feelings spontaneously and genuinely,' Claremont McKenna College psychologist Ronald E. Riggio says. 'This allows them to affect the moods and emotions of others.'
It's called emotional contagion, or 'the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronise expressions.'
So if you're really excited about something, other people with 'catch' that excitement, too.
'This uncertainty (that comes with potential) appears to be more cognitively engaging than reflecting on what is already known to be true,' the authors write.
In a University of Michigan experiment, women read vignettes about men. Whenever the story featured a person who owned a dog, women rated them with higher long-term attractiveness.
The researchers concluded that owning a pet signaled that you're nurturing and capable of making long-term commitments. It also makes you appear more relaxed, approachable, and happy.
In two experiments, researchers in Switzerland examined the relationship between attractiveness and smiling.
They found that the stronger the smile, the more attractive a face looked.
In fact, a happy facial expression compensated for relative unattractiveness.
According to Harvard research, talking about yourself stimulates the same brain regions as sex or a good meal.
'Activation of this system when discussing the self suggests that self-disclosure ... may be inherently pleasurable,' Scientific American reports.
And when people talk about their experiences, they become more vulnerable to one another, and when they become more vulnerable to one another, they form social bonds and coinvest in one another's welfare.
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