This article has been edited for foul language.So last weekend, I decided to get drunk because I had a rough week. The typical…lack of sleep, lack of social life, and lack of sex. I wanted to have fun tonight, regardless of my state of mind. I could have easily went back home and fell asleep in 5 minutes, but fuck it. It’s Friday night, and once the night starts, your sleep always goes away. Pull phone out, let the fun begin.
11:00pm – Text my college friends who work at a local tech/mobile app start-up. “Let’s drink.” 2 minutes later, I get a text – “F**k yeah.”
11:15pm – MD tells me to research about a company who makes some weird semiconductor. Looks really …really boring. Can’t believe they make over $10mm net each year. I do this for about 25-30 minutes, knowing that the deal probably won’t go through. Just a minor distraction…not phased…
12:05am – I realise that I’m retarded. I can save time by mass texting like 30 people. I wait. Half of them can’t go. Screw them.
12:45am – Oh s**t. I forgot to send out an important e-mail. Should I send it out now, or not? It’s over 3 hours later, which is an eternity in banking. I decide to send it out now. If the seniors ask about it…I’ll just say I forgot to add them to the e-mail. No big deal.
1:00am – Looks like there’s not much work to do. People are packing up and leaving. Most of the seniors have already gone out, probably also started drinking. I check my phone. About 10 people message me back. Three of them are already at the local club/lounge.
2:00am – Finish up some more s**t, and just leave. Wow this is early. Hell yeah.
2:20am – Show up at the bar and say “Sup” to a bunch of the people at the table. There’s a few people I don’t know. They’re girls. They’re hot. Yes.
2:25am – The hell. I spot my MD at the table across the room, with two other guys. There’s a s***load of drinks there. Probably want to avoid saying hi because it’s just awkward.
3:00am – Drink 3 shots in a row of Grey Goose. Not enough…
3:30am – Damn, my MD has spotted me. And he has shots poured. Not one, not two. There’s 3 people at the table. And me. They’re really…drunk. Have to drink three more shots of some nasty s***….Some form of old rum that basically kills my throat.
Don’t know the time. Next thing I know, we’re at my friend’s apartment and there’s a party. Beer pong, Kendrick Lamar on the radio, and random people. Where… am I? I only remember 5 things at this point.
1. Two girls were making out and the corner group was cheering them on. They are ugly, but beer goggles….nope still a 6/10 and I’m being really generous.
2. A few of my friends are playing beer pong. They’re good. I’ve never seen them lose playing together.
3. Where are my co-workers? One of the girls is taking shots with two super creepy looking guys…
4. My other co-worker, we’ll call him Adam. He apparently cut his lip while shotgunning a beer…Still, I feel bad for him. Can’t do s***t though. He leaves with a few guys to get more beer and a bandaid across the street to the local store. You can’t even buy liquor at this hour…