The 'Doug' creator just ruined everyone's childhood with what happens to Doug and Patti Mayonnaise

Doug and Patti MayonnaiseJumbo PicturesDo Doug and Patti Mayonnaise end up together?

Some cherished childhood memories should remain in the past because revisiting them is painful and disappointing.

At least, that’s the lesson we’re taking from a recent revelation from the creator of the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon “Doug.” In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, series creator Jim Jinkins explained what ended up happening to Doug and his longtime crush, Patti Mayonnaise. Did they ever get back together?

The answer is somewhat mortifying — and taken from a real experience that happened to Jinkins.

He explained to EW that the real-life Patti who the “Doug” character is based on called him after their ten-year high school reunion because she was sad he didn’t attend. After learning that they both lived in New York City, the real Patti excitedly invited him over for dinner.

I get to the door, and you get buzzed up in New York, and so I walk up to the apartment and I hear the lock turn — it’s getting ready to happen — and she opens the door, and she’s perfect. Just perfect. She just looks spectacular and she’s so happy, and her arms fly up and we hug, and I’m just like [frightened guttural gasping noises]. She backs up and she goes ‘”Look, Jimmy! Boobs! I got my boobs!” [Laughs.] It sounds like I’m making this up, right? And I’m like, “Yeah… yeah, uh huh!” “Yeah, they always used to call me Flatty Patti, but look!” And she was just funny and fun and innocent, but it’s like Doug and Patti together again, ten years later, right?

So this is all wonderful, right? And then she wheels and goes, “Oh, Jimmy, I want you to meet my husband.”

And I don’t even remember the rest of the evening.

So, no, they didn’t end up together in the end, and neither will Doug and Patti Mayonnaise.

However, it’s not all bad news for Doug. Jinkins said his sad sack protagonist “has this friend of his, a girl, who he’s always pouring his heart out to about how [Patti’s] killing him.”

“And naturally, I guess maybe it’s a little predictable, but that’s the one,” he said. “That’s the one he’s comfortable enough to bear his soul to in his next phase of life, that he discovers he’s in love with and didn’t even know it.”

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