Dolphins Can Be Horrible Animals That Could Rape You And Kill Your Baby


A couple from North Carolina traveled to Hawaii last month to pursue their dreams of having a “dolphin-assisted birth” for their baby due in July, the Charlotte Observer reports.

The couple is hoping to bond with animals in the wild, spending time in the water with them before and after the birth. If the new parents are “lucky” they may even even be able to have the baby in the water, The Sirius Institute, the organisation helping with the odd birth plan, says on their website.

“It is about reconnecting as humans with the dolphins so we can coexist in this world together and learn from one another,” the mum-to-be told the Observer. It brings “peace, comfort and strength to the mother and baby during labour,” she added.

This is a very bad idea.

Although dolphins can be incredibly intelligent and are often affectionate toward and form bonds with humans (they have been know to give gifts to people in Australia, team up with Brazilian fishermen, and blow fun bubble rings, for example), the animals can be incredibly dangerous, too.

They try to rape and drown people; they gang rape their females and sometimes hold them hostage for weeks; they murder baby porpoises for fun; they kill the babies of rival male dolphins, because as soon as her child dies, a female dolphin is ready to be raped and impregnated immediately.

Unless the dolphins are raised in captivity and specifically taught how to interact safely with humans, they are still wild animals that can weigh up to 600 pounds.

“My professional opinion: this has to be, hands down, one of the worst natural birthing ideas anyone has ever had (and that is saying a lot),” marine biologist and Discover blogger Christie Wilcox writes. “DEAR GOD. NO. JUST. NO.”

To prove our point, here’s a video of a dolphin attacking a female swimmer:

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