DEAR TIGER WOODS: Stop Doing Penance And Start Playing Golf

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Well, it has been more than a year since Tiger Woods’ extracurricular activities wrecked his marriage and made him God’s gift to the press.

But all that’s over now.

Or should be.

But we have a sneaking suspicion that it isn’t, at least in Tiger’s head.

We think Tiger felt pretty crappy about wrecking his marriage. We think he wished he had been a better husband.

And we think Tiger’s still apologizing for his behaviour in a way that only Tiger Woods can:

By playing dime-a-dozen pro-level golf.

Tiger’s just another pro golfer now. He has some good days, he has some bad days. Sometimes he strings enough good days together that he’s on the leaderboard for a while. But then the law of averages catches up with him and he falls from grace.

And some golf aficionados will go on about Tiger’s latest swing reconstruction and injuries and so forth. And others will say he’s over the hill. And we’re sure they’re all playing their part.

But mostly we think Tiger still feels guilty. We think Tiger thinks he’s been such a lousy guy that he doesn’t really deserve to win anymore. And we think he’s playing crappy golf (by his standards) as a result.

Well, Tiger, enough already.

You’ve said you’re sorry, and we believe you.

And Elin’s gone regardless.

And it’s time to look forward.

You’ve done your time in schmo-pro land, Tiger.

So take off the hair shirt.

And start driving and putting.

And win this Masters thing.

Because we think we speak for most press and fans when we say that golf is just drop-dead boring without you.

See Also: I’m Boycotting Augusta National