David Letterman kept his assistants after 'Late Show': 'I can no longer operate a telephone'

David letterman retirement indy 500Michael Hickey/Getty ImagesDavid Letterman attends the Indy 500 on May 23, 2015 in Indianapolis, Indiana.

David Letterman is living a much simpler life after saying goodbye to his late-night show last month. But that doesn’t mean that getting accustomed to normal life has been a smooth transition.

The former host gave his first post-retirement interview to his local magazine, Indianapolis Monthly.

In the interview, he revealed that two of his assistants have stayed on with him for good reason.

“As it turns out, after all these years of having someone make my calls for me, I can no longer operate a telephone,” he revealed to the magazine, after explaining that when he first started doing late-night his manager insisted Letterman get an assistant to answer his phones.

That’s not the only thing that takes getting used to for the 68-year-old comedian.

“I don’t know what to do with my hair, either,” he said. “But I’ll never wear makeup again, so that’s no problem.”

That said, Letterman is nothing if not self-reflective. He knows what he sounds like and welcomes the ribbing.

“It’s stunning what you find out about yourself when everything you’ve done for 33 years changes,” he said. “It’s like ice melting out from under you. I know that regular, responsible people probably hear me whining like this and think, ‘Oh, brother.’ But I’m trying to rehabilitate myself, so keep me in your thoughts and prayers.”

On the bright side, he does seem to keep track of life around town and gets to spend more time with his 11-year-old son, something he had said he wanted to do more of after retirement.

“I love fishing with my son, ” he said. “Any kind of trout fishing where you can stand in the river is just delightful. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can stand in the river. I’m pretty good at that. And isn’t that 90 per cent of it?”

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