Millennials, boomers, and Gen X are all paying one woman in NYC for dating app advice — here’s where each generation struggles most to find a partner

Amy Nobile of Love, Amy, helps others find someone special on dating apps. Courtesy of Amy Nobile
  • Amy Nobile is the woman behind Love, Amy, a dating concierge service that helps people find love on dating apps.
  • Over the course of three months, Nobile helps clients with all things dating, from sexting consultations to “ghost bantering” – taking over swiping and chatting for them.
  • Nobile said she attracts two groups of clients in particular: millennials who have prioritised work over relationships and can’t flirt, and post-divorcees who are sceptical of dating apps.
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Dating apps can be exhausting – if only there were a cupid to take over the task of swiping.

Enter Amy Nobile. Nobile, age 50, founded her dating concierge service Love, Amy, after finding “the love of her life” on Bumble. Based in New York City with clients across the country, she now helps others do the same.

That involves everything from wardrobe and sexting consultations to photoshoots for dating app profiles and “ghost bantering,” in which Nobile logs into clients’ dating apps and matches and chats as them.

“Some of them told me I’m like their fairy dating godmother,” she told Business Insider with a laugh.

Nobile’s foray into the dating world was organic. The former public relations professional is also the co-author of four books, all related to empowering women – a “common thread” in her career. After writing a book on what she describes as reinvention after 40, Nobile took a look at her own marriage, prompting her and her husband to amicably end things.

Read more: I asked 3 relationship experts about the biggest mistakes people make on dating apps

She then took on what she called a social experiment: making dating her job. She cast her net wide and went on dates until she met her current partner. Her friends, discouraged by dating apps and impressed by Nobile, asked for help. Nobile took over one of her friend’s profiles and landed her more dates in a month than she’d gone on all year.

It spawned the idea for Love, Amy, which took off in April 2019 as a side hustle. In just three months, Nobile transitioned it into a full-time job; she said she’s had 45 clients since starting, juggling six to seven clients at a time. In January 2020, her rates will start at $US1,750 a month for a three-month minimum.

Nobile takes on clients of various genders, sexual orientations, and ages, from 25 to 75 – but she told Business Insider she gets two groups in particular that come to her for very different things.

Millennials can’t flirt, but the 40+ crowd is sceptical of dating apps

Nobile estimates that about 30 to 40% of her clients are millennials.

“For millennials, work has taken priority over relationships,” she said. “They have been taught that what defines success is a well-rounded great career. They have lost the priority of finding a relationship. All of sudden, they realise they need to check this box.”

They most need help with flirting, she said: “Technology has become a primary source of communication, especially with the opposite sex. On text, it’s tough to flirt. They don’t know how to articulate it.”

The other half of her client base consists of people over 40 – baby boomers and Gen X – who want to re-enter dating after ending a marriage. Because these clients didn’t grow up with technology, they have a high level of scepticism that dating apps can work and they request help, she said. Nobile gives tutorials to help them figure it out. “Once they get going, they are really good at bantering because they know how to do it,” she said.

Nobile said her success rate in helping her clients find someone special is 85%. And, whether they have met that person or not, she said she has given them all the tools to succeed and know what to do on their own.

“I’m not a matchmaker, I’m more of a mirror, so people can take a look at who they are and who they want and meet quality people,” she said.