In all honesty: when we realised producers were saving Kirstie Alley for the final number of the night on “Dancing With The Stars,” we thought it was because they were saving the best trainwreck for last.
Instead, Alley’s number (with partner Maksim Chmerkovsky) was the sharpest performance of the premiere — even if she did fall short of actor Ralph Macchio in the scoring.
Macchio earned 24 points, Alley 23. (In case you’re wondering how the judges come up with these numbers, here’s one theory.)
Maybe Alley was docked a few points for her odd, attitude-soaked gestures — the number kicked off with her slapping her own butt and giving one of her breasts, um, a lift. We know you’re trying to tell us something, Kirstie, but we don’t know what.
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