When we were kids, for a send-up of pop culture, there was Mad magazine, and its rival Cracked. Of the two, we always liked Mad more, it seemed a little more sophisticated, a little more “adult.”
But that was before the Internet. Nowadays Cracked.com delivers up hilarious viral listicles daily, and Mad, well, has just shrunk to quarterly publication, and the best they can come up with for a website is this.
Check out Cracked’s open letter to Mad, giving the troubled publication a little friendly advice on how to get with the times. And consider maybe all print media should be taking Cracked’s advice.
Look, I know you still love magazines and the Internet probably seems like a big and scary place to you, but wake up. Every website on the Internet has more content than your site. For shit’s sake, I have more fun going to Pepsi’s website and pretending I’m in a shitty dance club than I do going to your site, and you’re supposed to be entertaining. Pepsi sells soft drinks, but their website still tries to make it worth my time to stick around, because this is the future and that is how things work now. Why is your website still a boring, spiritless hunk of hot pigshit? Why wouldn’t you update it? I mean, you clearly had time, it’s not like your canceled TV show and the four issues you print a year would be taking up too much of your time…
Hey, do you guys need some money, or something? I feel awful, because I just have so much money and you guys… Seriously, do you want, like gas money, or a hot meal or something? Jesus. I wanted to cheer you up and instead I reminded you what a pale imitation of your former self you are. Gosh, I feel like such a horse’s arse. (Oh, Horse, that reminds me: I’m buying horses for all the interns. Because that’s where we’re at. Cracked has horse money.) I really should just stop talking before I make this worse.
Ouch. And like so much of Cracked’s humour these days, it’s funny because it’s true.
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