Tony Manfred is one angry senior. And he hates Goldman Sachs.
He’s the Associate Editor of The Cornell Sun, which is probably why he was given free reign to blast the bank in a 784-word diatribe in today’s paper.
And he does not hold back. And it is pretty entertaining.
Manfred isn’t wholly against individual students applying to work for the bank if that’s their dream, he just thinks it should not be done by groveling to bankers at a campus career fair.
That process is something that should be done on an individual basis, he argues, and should not be sanctioned or sponsored by the university. Or, at the very least, such an event should be relocated to a nearby conference centre.
Of course Goldman is not the only bank that stalks new talent on campuses across the country; JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley, UBS, Credit Suisse, Merrill Lynch – they all dispatch recruiters. But it’s just something about Goldman that really grinds his gears.
(He can’t be serious – but we think he might be.)
Here are the worst things he says about the firm:
- “There is nothing we can do to stop Goldman Sachs… What we can do is make our tiny plot of Upstate New York Goldman-free.”
- “We can make it the rule that a company that paid a tax rate of one fucking per cent in the same year it helped cripple a nation’s economy is given no quarter by this university.”
- “Goldman Sachs is a criminal money factory with a vast network of alumni who occupy the most powerful positions in the financial-regulatory world, effectively protecting the bank from any economic threat — governmental or otherwise — such that the bank is free to suck every bit of profit out of every corner of American life, regardless of collateral damage, like an impossibly large vacuum cleaner whose belly fills not with dirt and hair destined for the garbage, but dollars and cents destined for the already bulging pockets of the upper-class.”
- The above paragraph followed swfitly, by: “This we can all agree on.”
- “Come summer, these undergrads have transformed into full-fledged Goldmanites — squeezing every drip of profit out of the rag that is America with conscious abandon — under the tragically correct assumption that the rest of us are, above all else, jealous of them.”
- “It should not, in any way, shape or form, be permitted to use this university’s facilities and resources to enlist Cornell students into its system of economic manipulation and moral abjectivity.”
- “We need to come to terms with the fact that people who go to work for a greedy, criminal machine… are, by definition, greedy criminals. These people are our classmates, our sorority sisters, our best friends, but they are also bad people. To put it bluntly, they are arseholes. Huge arseholes.”
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