- I started Bridesmaid for Hire 6 years ago, and I’ve been a professional bridesmaid over 100 times.
- After all those weddings, I’ve noticed a few common mistakes that couples make on their big day.
- Lack of communication, overspending, and stressing over perfection are some of the biggest ones.
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When I started my business Bridesmaid for Hire over six years ago, I didn’t know much about weddings – but now, I’ve worked at over 100.
As a hired bridesmaid for strangers, I’m tasked with the dirty work of being the bride’s personal assistant, unofficial therapist, peacekeeper, and social director. I’m the one handling moments of cold feet, explosions of emotion, and even last-minute problems no one saw coming.
After hundreds of weddings, here are some common mistakes couples make that I wish more people would avoid:
When couples go into their wedding day expecting perfection, they’re usually let down
A big part of my job is handling the excess emotions that surround the big day and tending to all the pop-up problems that arise.
I tell every client that hires me that no wedding is perfect, things always go wrong. But they hardly ever listen to that advice.
Before long, they find themselves engulfed in panic when it rains or the flowers are two shades lighter than they wanted.
A bulk of my job consists of finding ways to make my client laugh off the uncontrollable and unfixable things that go wrong.
No party or plan is ever perfect. So my best advice is to walk into your wedding day knowing things won’t go exactly how you imagined and just make the best of it.
Spend your money on things that will elevate the day, not the little details
Over the years, I’ve worked at weddings that had $10,000 budgets and ones that had $250,000 budgets.
I think most couples throughout that range spent way too much on things that they didn’t actually need.
I’ve witnessed couples spending $25,000 on flowers that hardly get noticed in darkly lit venues and get tossed when the wedding ends. I’ve also seen couples take on loads of credit-card debt just to throw a party that looks Pinterest- or Instagram-worthy.
You shouldn’t pour your life savings into your wedding day. People hardly notice the little details you spend all that cash on anyway.
Wedding guests care about having a good time, which has much more to do with the invite list, music, food, and drinks. Everything else is an expensive waste that you might end up regretting when the wedding ends and you’re stuck lugging home 100 party favors your guests forget to grab on their way out the door.
It’s always better to prioritize open communication – secrets lead to stress
As a hired bridesmaid, I spend weeks and even months getting to know my client before the wedding.
In that time, secrets – around financial lies, infidelity, uncertainty – are often shared with me that the bride doesn’t tell anyone else, even her partner.
Get the tough conversations out of the way early on so your wedding day can be a true celebration, not a day that makes you nervous because you or your partner is keeping something that you should’ve discussed much earlier on.
Too many couples get pressured into saying yes to things they don’t actually want
During the pre-wedding vent sessions I have with my clients, I often listen to them unload about promises they made early on in the planning process that they no longer want to keep.
For example, one of my brides told her future mother-in-law that she could plan the bridal shower, but soon realized she didn’t actually want that. Another told a friend she’d be a bridesmaid and then six months later regretted making that premature promise.
It can be tempting to say yes to every request from a friend or family member right after getting engaged, but I suggest waiting to agree to anything for at least 30 days. That way, you can consider decisions with a clearer mind.
Couples should enjoy their wedding day, no matter what
The most common mistake I see couples make is not having an absolute blast on their wedding day.
Rather than being filled with joy and happiness, some couples spend most of the night stressing out about how everything looks and if everyone else is having a good time.
A lot of couples don’t get to enjoy the food or cake at their wedding because they’re too busy dealing with vendors or mingling with guests. I’ve even seen couples spend the night on opposite sides of the venue because they’re constantly being pulled away by people.
But this is your night. You and your partner should enjoy the food, company, music, and each other at your wedding, no matter what.
The goal at the end of the day should be to have no regrets about how you spent it.
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