The comedy geniuses at Clickhole have their own take on Facebook’s early years.
Check out “An Oral History of Facebook,” a hysterical look into an alternate history where Mark Zuckerberg just wanted to know if his friends could swim, the Winklevoss twins are “identical river giants,” and Sean Parker blames Metallica for killing his child, Napster.
It covers everything from Zuckerberg and co-founder Eduardo Saverin choosing a name for the social network:
Eduardo Saverin: Mark’s original name for the site was www.TheWebsiteCalledFacebookTheSocialNetwork.com.
Mark Zuckerberg: We later changed the name of the website to www.WellNowItIsTimeForMeToLogIntoFacebookTheWebsite.com.
Eduardo Saverin: We then decided to simply call the site www.WellWouldYouLookAtTheTimeItIsTimeForMeToLogIntoFacebookHereIGoRightNow.com.
Mark Zuckerberg: We thought that this was the perfect name, until we learned that there was already a tech startup with this exact URL. They sued us into oblivion, and we went bankrupt. Eduardo and I quickly realised that we had no idea how to make it in Silicon Valley.
To Peter Thiel’s famed early-stage investment in Facebook:
Peter Thiel (co-founder of PayPal, early investor in Facebook): So my phone rings, and I answer it, and a voice on the other end says, “Metallica murdered my son. Hello, I am Sean Parker.” Sean told me about Facebook and how it would make it so easy to find out whether or not your friends could swim. I immediately invested every penny I had.
It’s well worth a read — and you might even learn something. Except you probably won’t, because it’s all made up.