Someone who applied to Citi’s summer analyst program recently found out that he or she didn’t make the cut.
So in a reply email to (presumably) the hiring manager, Shelli’s, work associates, they wrote the sarcastic, misspelled, miserable attempt at inspiring regret you’ll read below, thanks to Dealbreaker.
Thank you so much for replying my email!!
Ah, what a pity that I missed one of the most prestigious bank in the world, and what a pity citi-group missed a mathematics genius like me, the smartest student ever in the engineering department, the one who beaten maths majors in the most difficult competition in the world like idiots, and the one who astutely points out the mars existing in the Gaussian Copula and made proper corrections on it!! Shelli’s stupidity can surely not appreciate my conspicuously superior intellectuality. Woe to the fatuous decision, yet I humbly accpet!
Best luck with citi-bank, and I sincerely hope the trading can still flourish with those incompetent workers, with those preposterous foreclosures and ludicrous CDOs, with those avaricious vampires drying the blood of tens of thousands of poor languishing in loans and poverty! Woe!