Ah, the year-end investor letter.A canvas for hedge fund managers, bank CEOs and private equity moguls to pour their heart out to all those wonderful people who keep them employed.
There are common threads to all of them.
We did good.
We can do better.
There were hard times.
I have faith. And you should too.
But we haven’t read one yet that’s as good as the one that, according to Dealbook, is “written by a Wall Street trader [and] is filling the in-boxes of industry professionals.”
For those who haven’t received the satirical communique in their own inboxes yet, enjoy:
FW: 2011: Year of the RARE EARTH MINERAL
The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul. — G.K. Chesterton
New Year’s Day is just an arbitrary starting point, but it can have a great positive psychological impact if we spend a little time reflecting on changes we want to make…
I try very hard to avoid the prediction game. The only thing I know for sure about 2011 is that there are going to be some very good rallies and some very ugly disappointment. My goal is to simply navigate it the best I can, provide some helpful insights and make some money. It would be easier if we just had a slow, steady bull market that lasts for most of the year, but I’m fairly certain that is not going to happen quickly or easily.
As many of you are aware, at the end of every year I move completely to cash and lock myself in a bank vault for a couple days with all of my money and all of my annual trading records. I carefully review all of my trades and try to learn what mistakes were made and what worked.
This year, I have relocated this exercise 2,300 feet underground inside an abandoned mine at a slag dump site in Monaca, Pa. I have appropriated 30-seven Chinese nationals from a Scandium Mine in Longba Town, Zhuxi Country, China, that have secured and transported my gadolinite, promethium, cerium and yttrium and other rare earth minerals holdings.
Best of luck in 2011…
Business Insider Emails & Alerts
Site highlights each day to your inbox.