Can Any One Of These People Beat President Obama?

gop 2012 candidates

We thought we’d update our “cheat seat” on the 2012 GOP presidential candidates. The cast of characters has changed a bit.  The race is more wide-open now that former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee has withdrawn from the race.

Someone has to win. Here’s where we think each of the candidates stands right now. 

 
 

[slideshow]
[slide
permalink=”mitt-romney-1″
title=”Mitt Romney”
content=”Good News: Fund-raising in high gear, took a stand on the ‘individual mandate,’ leading in the polls, running a disciplined campaign, continued strength in New Hampshire and Florida.

Bad News: Took what a lot of Republican primary voters thought was the wrong stand on the ‘individual mandate.’ Continues to have no success connecting with socially conservative base voters.

Present Position: Front-runner!

What He Must Do: Raise more money.”
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[slide
permalink=”sarah-palin-2″
title=”Sarah Palin”
content=”Good News: loveable Huckabee is out. That gives her a clear shot in Iowa.

Bad News: Bitch Bachmann is running.

Present Position: Running second.

What She Must Do: Raise her game.”
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[slide
permalink=”newt-gingrich-3″
title=”Newt Gingrich”
content=”Good News: He’s still alive.

Bad News: The week from hell.

Present Position: Third.

What He Must Do: Develop ’10 Reasons Why Newt Is The One’ and then stick to it like ugly on a frog.”
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[slide
permalink=”ron-paul-4″
title=”Ron Paul”
content=”Good News: Newt had a horrible week.

Bad News: Paul talked himself out of contention the week before.

Present Position: Dead as a doornail.

What He Must Do: Become the undead.”
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[slide
permalink=”michele-bachmann-5″
title=”Michele Bachmann”
content=”Good News: loveable Huckabee out of the race, opening up Iowa.

Bad News: Bitch Palin is back, at least for the time being.

Present Position: Dead on arrival.

What She Must Do: Elbow Palin out of the way.

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[slide
permalink=”mitch-daniels-6″
title=”Mitch Daniels”
content=”Good News: Establishment begging him to run. Political and financial support on call. Huckabee exit makes Iowa at least possible.

Bad News: Family unenthusiastic. Oppo researchers lining up to smear wife. Romney fund-raising scary.

Present Position: Long-shot.

What He Must Do: Get going.”
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[slide
permalink=”tim-pawlenty-7″
title=”Tim Pawlenty”
content=”Good News: Survived loser GOP debate. Huckabee departure makes Iowa more possible. Weak field still makes him viable, barely.

Bad News: Dumb interview with Time magazine.

Present Position: Long shot.

What He Must Do: Say something smart..”
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[slide
permalink=”rick-santorum-8″
title=”Rick Santorum”
content=”Good News: Can’t think of any.

Bad News: Remarks that McCain didn’t understand ‘enhanced interrogation’ possibly the stupidest yet of the campaign.

Present Position: Long, long shot.

What He Must Do: Stop saying stupid things.”
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[slide
permalink=”jon-huntsman-9″
title=”Jon Huntsman”
content=”Good News: ‘Exploratory’ phase of campaign going well. Well-received in South Carolina. Campaign to be based in Orlando. favourable press coverage. Weak field makes him look better. Strong campaign team.

Bad News: Obama’s favourite Republican.

Present Position: Long shot, but moving up the charts.

What He Must Do: Keep it up.”
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[slide
permalink=”gary-johnson-10″
title=”Gary Johnson”
content=”Good News: Willie Nelson endorsed him.

Bad News: No one has any idea who he is and no one is going to vote for him.

Present Position: Dead as a doornail.

What He Must Do: Endorse someone else.”
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[slide
permalink=”herman-cain-11″
title=”Herman Cain”
content=”Good News: Everyone is telling him he’s doing great, he’s the dark horse.

Bad News: Everyone’s lying.

Present Position: Longest long shot.

What He Must Do: Show up for every debate.”
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[slide
permalink=”rick-perry-12″
title=”Rick Perry”
content=”Good News: Iowa is wide open, with Huckabee out. The moment he’s been waiting for since 2004 is now upon him. He can run!

Bad News: Iowans aren’t keen on Texans. Texas Republicans ready to dish.

Present Position: Dark horse.

What He Must Do: Win Iowa.”
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[slide
permalink=”out-mike-huckabee-13″
title=”OUT: Mike Huckabee”
content=”Dropped out of the race.

His endorsement will be helpful to someone.

He will not endorse Romney.”
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[slide
permalink=”out-donald-trump-14″
title=”OUT: Donald Trump”
content=”Hello, I must be going.

Dropped out just before his campaign collapsed.”
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[slide
permalink=”out-haley-barbour-15″
title=”OUT: Haley Barbour”
content=”Let’s eat!

Dropped out.

Couldn’t figure out how he could get from here to there.”
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[slide
permalink=”how-far-have-we-come-16″
title=”How far have we come?”
content=”Check out our original predictions>
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[/slideshow]