What’s Buzzfeed without all the cat photos and GIFs?
There’s a hilarious Tumblr blog making the rounds online that shows you. It’s called Buzzfeed Articles Minus GIFs, and it’s just what you think it is.
It strips down Buzzfeed listicles to just the text, removing all images. Some of them end up reading like children’s books, or choppy poetry.
There’s a strong argument to be made that the blog showcases how strong Buzzfeed’s writing really is. It’s not easy to make a listicle that flows even when the vast majority of its content — the photos — are removed.
We should also note that we’re laughing with Buzzfeed, not at Buzzfeed. It makes great, sharable content. There was previously a very funny Tumblr made about Business Insider, called “If Business Insider Was Around When,” and we laughed at that too.
(By the way, there’s also a popular hash tag making the rounds on Twitter, #darkbuzzfeed, with titles like “27 People Who Are Disappointed In You” and “42 Puppies Who Will Starve To Death.”)
Here are some examples of Buzzfeed articles, minus GIFs.
8 Reasons Candy Corn Is The Worst (Minus The GIFs)
It’s neither candy nor corn. Well, it might technically be a candy and includes corn syrup as an ingredient, but honestly, it just doesn’t count. Candy corn leaves kids feeling sad and unfulfilled. Wax is an actual ingredient in candy corn. The other ingredients are sugar, corn syrup, salt, egg whites and colorings. When trick or treating, it is almost always distributed in a homemade bag. Oreo couldn’t even make candy corn work. If you hand out candy corn on Halloween, you will be lame. You will end up with a lot of leftover wax-candy.
11 Reasons Why Showering Is The Best Part Of The Day (Minus the GIFs)
It’s a great excuse to play with bubbles. It can invigorate you. It’s the perfect opportunity to sing your heart out. Or unwind with the warm, steamy water. You can wear a mask. Crank the water up and grab some body wash to combat a hot, muggy day. You can reflect on your deepest thoughts. The feeling of a warm bathrobe is absolutely glorious. And a blast of cold water at the end can be totally refreshing.
18 Reasons Mushrooms Are a Garbage Food (Minus the GIFs)
Mushrooms are empirically disgusting. They are the worm-iest of foods. Worms or mushrooms?? YOU CAN’T EVEN TELL. Mushrooms are literally fungus. Did you know that the FDA legally allows 19 maggots and 74 mites in every 3.5-ounce can of mushrooms!! Mushrooms taste like nothing unless you coat them in oils and spices. They are slimy weird bulb food!!! Mushrooms are the surprise ruiner of many a pasta. Some of them LOOK LIKE BRAINS. Mushrooms look like garbage thrown on a pizza. They’re weird and puffy and scary. Everyone thinks vegetarians want a portobello mushroom sandwich or burger. Mushrooms are a poor and creepy excuse for a meat substitute. AHHH IS IT TOUCHING ME? I FEEL LIKE IT’S TOUCHING ME. Mushrooms make a very unpleasantly coloured soup. THIS IS AN UNHOLY UNION OF LIFE (ZUCCHINI) AND CRUEL, SENSELESS DEATH (MUSHROOM CARCASSES). Does this sound at all appetizing??? A mushroom once told me it hated puppies AND Beyoncé. Thanks for nothing, mushrooms. You are not a fun guy.