'But My Wife Made Me Buy This Crappy, Overpriced House!'

happy couple home

Somehow we have the feeling that the story of Edmund Andrews isn’t all that rare. Well, certainly subprime borrowers blowing up are common. But we mean guys who don’t put up more of a fight when their “eclectic” and pursuasive wives want them to make some financial decision that they may come to regret.*

Here’s a fantastic thread from the site StreetEasy.

It starts off with a user named santoact complaining about the new house he just bought:

went into contract this week, and this is mostly a function of needing to find a place to live due to relocation. My corporate housing was running out. Wife pressure to close a deal probably also adds to the mix.

Found a nice place in Carnegie Hill, got a decent price for it a price race to the bottom against another unit in the same exact line obviously helped a lot. However I almost feel like a forced wedding, I think I find that I need a house and several months of house hunting took a toll. Do I beleive this place is an investment HELL NO do I think I will make a profit in the future NO WAY. I will be more than happy if it HOLDS value. I guess this is my current view of realstate.

I wonder how many people out there are buyers like me. Contrary to many people here I hate visiting open houses and going trough 300 listings. I think I probably saw more than 200 apts all over manhattan, heck I even checked williamsburg.
If you are wondering about all the contract activity remind yourselves that some people need to buy and house hunting for years is not an option.

The others in the thread reasonably ask him we he couldn’t just rent

Simple reason, Wife was death set on buying and I was so tired of looking at places on sale. that I decided that I have better close on a “ok” place and move on. Still this is a coop if for any reason I get rejected by the board (highly doubtful I have great financials) then the most likely outcome is me renting.

Somehow I find funny that people get very happy to own a place even excited to buy, I lack any emotions regarding the transaction. So far my total monthly cost including maiteinance and mortage is equal to what I would spent renting a similar place. Mostly due to the fact that I am putting down 33%.

The responses go something like this:

I am so sick and tired of hearing men complain that they bought — or can’t sell — based on the “wife”. It is ridiculous. It is a VERY large investment, for most the largest, and you really should get a pair — in lieu of going against your gut on the market.

If you wife isn’t a complete douche — she should understand the economic impact to your mutual financial well being and she should be SUPPORTIVE and contributing to the cause — if in no other form than supporting your sense of the market.
If she is not making a finacial contribution, I would buy in my name only and tell her to go pound sand.

And this:

This sounds like a breeding ground for resentment. Why would you allow your wife to bully into something you are so uncomfortable with?

There are lots like it, but our favourite comment comes from user Viran:

I am a wife, and I have to answer to some of your critics. I have the same issues with my husband, he never wants to buy. It is never the right time for him. Well we bought two apt while I was working and had more bargain power, and each time sold them for a very nice profit. Now we have been renting for 5 years, different apts, and you know what the teachers told us? Our kids need stability, they need a place in which they know they can grow up. So we might move to the suburbs as the prices are still much higher than in 2006. Life isn’t about profit, we all need to build up a nice home in which family members can feel save, and create long lasting memories. It is sad that men are so greedy and don’t manage to see the important issues.

And it goes on and on and on (via Curbed).

*Before someone says it, we’re certainly aware that laws and gender dynamics work both ways with these things. There are plenty of situations where a husband can make stupid decisions, leave the wife and leave her with a ruined financial site. So the Edmund Andrews dynamic — man browbeaten into buying a home — isn’t the only situation, but it is one that probably plays out a lot.

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