The legendary ‘Missed Connections’ section on Craigslist is often an incredible mixture of absurdity, heartfelt longing, and wistfulness. And this is doubly true of those from Buring Man, the yearly festival in the middle of the desert whose very nature invites an intense nostalgia that keeps people coming back year after year.
And the missed connections this year do not disappoint. There are people who were given a piece of someone’s hair, only to be left in the desert dust alone, and those who had an amazing connection until someone said something about vaping in a van and their potential lover left.
“You were crying under a crocodile…”
Read on for this year’s amazing Burning Man missed connections:
Note: If you’ve never read a “Missed Connections” post before, Craigslist users often use tags like ‘m4w’ (man looking for woman’) to alert people to their own gender and the gender of the person they’re looking for. Please also note some of the listings contain obscenities.
'I know this is a total longshot but we hung out Friday night after meeting at a camp 'bar' A huge group of guys followed me around the playa calling me Queen until it was late and just the three of us. I named you Twelve. I guess I passed out and woke up confused then ran away. I wish I had stayed and spent the rest of the burn with you.
I wish I could remember where you were from. Hopefully that wasn't the last time I will see you.
Also if you are Twelve give me some background details so I know it's really you.'
'You were crying under a crocodile. I was with a couple friends who noticed. You had a purple (was it blue?) faux-hawk. We descended upon you and embraced and comforted you. We ended up back at your camp in a delirious state of sleep deprivation and substance come-down. You made us bacon and eggs and we lay down for a nap that became a bit of a sticky triangle. My friend, being the more agressive of the two of us, rose to claim you. But I felt our connection (perhaps it was only in my head?). When we parted you had invited us both back (seperately) and I told you I couldn't come back without telling my friend. But I felt desperate to find you again. As we rode off, I told my friend that I really wanted to go back to see you. She pointed out that she saw you first (that she had actually met you at a festival previously) and that meant she had dibs. (I don't believe in dibs, I believe in fate and cosmic convergence). She then lectured me about not letting dudes get between our friendship and that there were plenty of men on the playa. True, but the fact was, whatever happened in our brief interaction affected me. It was the most magnetic connection I had experienced on the playa. I try to make this make sense to her but she insisted I let it go. So, as the honest and true friend I am, I let you go. But I thought about you and hoped for a serendipitous meeting on the playa.
Two days later, when I saw my friend again, I asked her if she had gone back to see you. She said she had, and sort of passed it off like it was no big deal. Then she very casually said, you can go see him if you want, I don't care. WTF!
I had to find you. I went back to your neighbourhood but couldn't remember exactly where. (8:45 and g-h?). I rode up and down your streets searching. I did this everyday. Still, I could not find you. Must not have been meant to be. Also, I know how it is out there. When we met, that was all the feelings and connections of that moment, and the moment changes along with those emotions. I'm accepting of this.
And I just wanted to tell you I'm still thinking of you. You somehow impacted me.
Are you out there? I remember you saying you lived in Oakland. I remember your playa name being fruit salad. I remember your hands, and all your bracelets, I remember your brown eyes, with their tears and their intensity. These are the only details I can recall to help me find you.
Perhaps you'll see this. Perhaps an aquaintence will. If not, this is my closure. At least I tried. Farewell my beautiful connection.'
'I believe it was Tuesday. We chatted for a bit after I asked if you were Persian. Your friend was oblivious to our mutual interest and dragged you away to Robot Heart.'
'We met on Tuesday of Burning Man in the early afternoon around 7:30 and A.
You had just broken your bike chain, and I had just fucked up my handlebars and we laughed about it. You had a wrench and we fixed my bike but not yours. Actually you fixed my bike for me even though you said you didn't know anything about bikes. We both had beetle tattoos(you = rhinoceros, me= stag).
I wish I asked for your information but I was actually kind of intimidated by you even you couldn't have been more than a hundred pounds soaking wet. You were the strangest and most compelling person I met all week and you had the self confidence of someone who probably already knows she's pretty as fuck.
You said you were working with a crew out of SF so I'm hopeful that I'll somehow run into you again in the city. On the off chance you see this, I would love to buy you a drink. Unless you fix bikes for redheads with beetle tattoos all the time...you would probably remember me? Thanks for fixing my bike, sweetheart.'
'Met at home brew joint in Center Camp at Burning Man on Burn Night--You were a Geologist from Orange County, me, a tax lawyer in Houston, Texas;. . ..had a date to meet at the Twisted Swan Irish Bar at 4:49 & F per iburn ap at 8:00PM, by the time I figured out it was a misprint and at 4:30&C, it was too late! I'm soooo bummed. You were a doll.'
'Burning Man. I was in a school bus filled to the brim with blue plastic balls. It was super dope, but that's beside the point. After I finally exited the bus after swimming through the ball pit for what seemed like forever, I found that somebody had taken my left shoe. Looking around, I saw an unpaired left shoe similar in design to mine. I assumed that you took my left shoe thinking it was yours. I mean, it was dark, covered in dust, and let's be real probably both of us were f'ed up. So I took your left shoe (which so happened to fit perfectly!).
My shoe is a Clarks size 10.5, yours an Airwalk size 11. I wore those mismatched shoes for the rest of Burning Man, I thought it'd be pretty funny to know if you did too. I'd love to have a beer with my mismatched shoe twin if at all possible.
However, if you are in fact a one-legged man whose shoe I unjustly stole, then please accept my sincerest apologies.'
'Your name starts with a C (will share the rest in a message) and you were sweet, from Oakland and played with us. We met in line for the Thursday genderblenders party. You ided as female for the scene. We really enjoyed playing with you and would like to do it again. Maybe what happens at Burning Man doesn't have to stay at Burning Man? You mentioned you were on Fetlife.'
You came back from burning man and you don't know what to do with all that white syntetic fur material and those other white canvassy materials you tied into a kilt/wrapped yourself in/toted things around with
I need it for this viking party I'm going to tomorrow. Will you lend/give it to me?
Thanks, buddy. I owe you one.'
'You went to Stuy but transferred out because you didn't make Sing!, maybe. Maybe it was your first night on playa -- you were lonely and didn't have anyone to talk to and a girl on acid said you were too much so you latched onto us at that stupid white party. Even though you thanked me at the rainbow fairy crystal for our hospitality before you took off, I think we were a little too cold. Let me make it up to you.'
'We met Wednesday night at Camp Question Mark, you were dancing next to your sister and I overcame my shyness to come talk to you when you took a water break. Thought we had a nice connection, and I was really hoping to see you again, but of course I didn't think to get your contact info and you didn't show up for crepes at my camp the next day :(
Hoping this somehow finds you.'
'You stopped by my rehearsal but left before I finished. So that I know it's you, tell me what you said after you asked me how fast I run.'
'This was last year, but worth a shot. I was inside that booth where you can record a video message to yourself. Really opened up so was dazed walking out. You were walking in. All I remember is that you were maybe around 5'3' or shorter, dark hair, reminded me of someone I knew back in NYC. You looked up, our eyes locked, and maybe I smiled. Then just walked out, still in a daze. (Me: reddish long hair, 5'7', skinny, possibly wearing a white wedding tax jacket with kitty slippers on the shoulders.)
Maybe just maybe you're reading this and remember.'
'Paging Ethan of Black Rock City! You needed a ride from the gate road to SF, I had a green van. I have your bike and tent, you went to get the rest of your stuff. I waited aside at the gate but never saw you again, and then had to continue on. I would love to return your bike and tent to you. Call or write for return delivery of your goods. I hope you made it home safely! Robin'
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