Are Britons Drinking Less Beer Because Cocaine Is Cheaper Than Ever?

cocainesnort tbi

The Telegraph today reports that beer sales in Britain have dropped 9.8 per cent between April and June of this year, and the same time last year.

That’s the biggest dip in sales in 14 years.

So, why are beer sales plummeting? The paper assigns blame to the outrageous taxes imposed on brewers, a 35.4 per cent rise in duties since March 2008, but it failed to include another factor—cocaine has never been cheaper!

It’s also lost some of its stigma and, as of last fall, the U.K. was sniffing up more cocaine than the U.S. As the Observer noted last November:

“Mystique once surrounded cocaine, with many perceiving it a drug for “winners,” but all that has gone. Now cocaine use permeates all classes, from top to bottom. Price is a factor; it’s cheaper than ever. Experts talk of “child-friendly” prices, “beginners’ offers” and “group discounts.'”

Britain sounds great all of a sudden (only if you’re into self-destructive behaviour, of course). But what do they mean by “cheap”?

“Latest prices indicate a line of cocaine can work out at as cheap as £1, while analysts claim an average price is somewhere between £2 and £4. With a £4 pint not uncommon and a glass of house white retailing at around £3.50, the temptation to young people is evident.”

OK, there’s really no contest here. The Telegraph says that the average price of a pint today is £3.05. Now compare that to the “child-friendly” coke prices listed above and there’s the answer.

This post originally appeared at Gawker.

Gawker is the high-brow gossip sheet covering media, entertainment, politics and technology.

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