Over the past week, we have waded into two theories that have obsessed many Americans for the past several years:
- The theory that President Barack Obama was actually born in Kenya and is therefore not qualified to be president, and
- The theory that former Vice-President candidate and possible Presidential candidate Sarah Palin staged a huge hoax during the last campaign and is not actually the mother of her son Trig
Prior to writing about these theories, we did not fully appreciate how passionate many Americans are about them–pro and con. We also didn’t know much about the facts underlying them.
Well, now we know more.
And, above all, we think it is absurd that, given all the challenges facing this country, Americans are having to waste a single second wondering and arguing about the truth behind these theories, especially when the questions could so easily be put to rest.
This country faces huge, serious problems that will require a boatload of brainpower and cooperation to fix. No one in the country should have to waste even a moment wondering whether the President wasn’t born here or a former Vice Presidential candidate (and possible Presidential candidate) lied to the entire nation.
What’s more, we believe both questions could easily and permanently be put to rest by us (or any other investigators) spending a few minutes with two documents:
- The original “long-form” birth certificate of Barack Obama, which is said to contain the hand-written notes of the doctor who helped bring him into the world and is said to be in a file somewhere in Honolulu, and
- The original birth certificate of Sarah Palin’s son Trig, which should say where he was born and when and who his parents are.
Representatives for President Obama and Possible Presidential Candidate Palin have dismissed the theories above as vindictive, politically motivated, and preposterous. Given this, we imagine that they, too, would like to see the theories put to rest.
So we are hereby launching a mission to be allowed to spend a few minutes examining the documents above, so can put the theories behind us and help the nation move on. We will pursue this mission through a number of different avenues, official and unofficial. And if and when we are successful in getting access to the documents, we will send our investigators to Hawaii and Alaska to examine them and finally reveal the truth.
We will start our investigation by inviting the two folks who can most easily help, President Obama and Sarah Palin, to grant us access to the documents themselves. (President Obama and Ms. Palin, you are hereby invited!). If this invitation is rebuffed, we will then focus on seeking access from officials in the states involved.
Given how much time and effort has already been devoted to these questions–and given the ongoing efforts of Folks Who Don’t Want You To Know–we will also eagerly accept all the help we can get.
If you can help us get access to these documents, or if you know anything new about the theories above (actual knowledge, please, not theories), we would be thrilled to hear from you ([email protected]). We’ll keep all third-party input confidential.
As Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) in Casablanca might have said, these two problems don’t amount to a hill of beans compared to the rest of what’s going on in this crazy world. But we and the rest of America deserve to know the truth.
So we’re hereby launching our search for the birth certificates of Sarah Palin’s son Trig Palin and President Barack Obama. We will update you periodically on our progress. Thanks in advance for your help.
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