Janus Capital’s Bill Gross will do his part as a Californian to cut water usage.
But Gross won’t let Governor Jerry Brown stop him from using his self-awarded “world’s greatest shower.”
Instead, he’ll give up almonds.
The California drought has taken a devastating toll on the state, leading Brown and other officials to push for tough restrictions on water usage.
In his latest investment outlook published on Tuesday, Gross seemed sceptical of the idealistic Governor’s leadership.
“He believes that Mammon, not God, bears responsibility for the Golden State’s record drought and that I, we, all of us simple folk should cut back water usage by a minimum of 25%,” Gross wrote.
“Well it’s hard to argue with Governor Moonbeam especially when it comes to the environment, although if you ask me, his other idea of hundreds of miles of high speed rail at a minimum cost of $US25 billion is off the rails and on the governor’s private moon.”
Gross says that while he will do his part to help reduce water usage, he — just like any other Californian — is free to chose how he wants to go about doing it.
“I will choose a diet of fewer almonds,” Gross wrote.
“Growing almonds it seems, consumes 10% of all the annual residential water supplied to 40 million thirsty folks in California, and 60% of that production is exported, so I suggest we fight the drought ‘there’ as opposed to ‘here’, if you get my drift.”
He also quotes a Wall Street Journal article claiming that the amount of water it takes to produce one pound of almonds is equivalent to 50 five minute showers.
This is good news for Gross, who goes on to “do a little bragging” about the divine shower he and his wife built, perched above a cliff on Laguna Beach.
To be quite candid, it’s not the water, the temperature, the simple knobs, or even the shower head that makes it the best; nor is it the combination of all four. The key to our shower in fact, is not the actual experience of hot water on a 98.6° body at all. It’s the view; our shower has the world’s greatest view. The scenery from it is so gorgeous that when we sell our home, we may list the shower separately and see if it attracts an offer higher that the rest of the house. If not, we’ll just sell the house with a shower “easement” and continue to come in and out from the street every morning at 6:00 a.m.
When the 71-year-old Gross finally decides to retire, he has a nifty plan.
“When it comes to retirement, I don’t think we’ll need our 401Ks,” he wrote. “We’ll just sell tickets to our shower, and use the proceeds to pay for some of Governor Moonbeam’s almonds.”
Also, he’s worth $US2.3 billion — so that should help.
NOW WATCH: Someone figured out the purpose of the extra shoelace hole on your running shoes — and it will blow your mind
NOW WATCH: Money & Markets videos
Business Insider Emails & Alerts
Site highlights each day to your inbox.