Photo: Courtesy of AMC
I have to confess, “Big Data” confuses me. I mean, I was barely beginning to grasp something called “Datametrics” when along came this much larger and more grandiose sounding thing everyone was talking about and stressing was something the future of advertising and marketing would absolutely, positively be dependent on.Back in my “Mad Man” days, the only big things we cared about were “Big Ideas.” That, plus the bigness of the lunchtime Martinis.
So, on your behalf, I decided to do a little research on the subject… Data, not Martinis, you’re on your own with the latter.
I found a recent business magazine article in which the writer stresses that for “Big Data” to play a role in improving your business, you must start locating, exploring, evaluating, analysing, and operationalizing “External Big Data” so you can then translate it into “Internal big data.”
First of all, I’m pretty sure that operationalizing isn’t a real word, but when did that ever stop a business press writer? And when it comes to storing all this “Internal Big Data,” I have visions of that final scene in “Raiders of the lost Ark,” the one with the giant warehouse with rows and rows of dusty storage crates stretching out as far as the eye can see.
I mean I’m pretty sure you have to put all external stuff somewhere before you can start operationalizing it into internal stuff!
Reading the trades didn’t help much, so I thought I’d see how the vendors of “Big Data” solutions and services pedaled their wares via their Web sites. As expected, the consultants offered, via aggressive language, the promise that “Big Data” translates into “Big Money.” No doubt in order to justify their “Big Fees.”
Consultants offered the promise that “Big Data” translates into “Big Money.” No doubt in order to justify their “Big Fees.”
SAS will help you to Harness a Game-Changing Asset.
Whilst McKinsey will show you The Next Frontier for Innovation, Competition and Productivity.
As for the people who actually make stuff, over at IBM they inform you that “Big Data” spans four dimensions: Volume, Velocity, Variety, and Veracity.
I’m sorry “Big Blue,” if I were you; I would stick to the Vernacular.
Unexpectedly, the most cogent explanation of what “Big Data” is all about was over at Oracle:
“The term big data draws a lot of attention, but behind the hype there’s a simple story.
For decades, companies have been making business decisions based on transactional data stored in relational databases.
Beyond that critical data, however, is a potential treasure trove of less structured data: weblogs, social media, email, sensors, and photographs that can be mined for useful information.”
See what can be done with plain, simple to understand English… that can be mined for useful information.
Well done Larry Ellison, America’s most evil Billionaire. Treat yourself to another yacht. Anyway, it’s nearly lunchtime for me, so it’s time for the first of my “Big Martinis.” Cheers.
George Parker has spent 40 years on Madison Avenue. He’s won Lions, CLIOs, EFFIES, and the David Ogilvy Award. His blog is adscam.typepad.com, which is required reading for those looking for a gnarly view of the world’s second oldest profession.” His latest book “Confessions of a Mad Man,” makes the TV show “Mad Men” look like “Sesame Street.”
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