Apple’s Siri voice assistant is one of the most widely available bots in the world. Most people with an iPhone can ask it questions with the push of a button, and over the years, Apple has used that data to improve Siri.
Still, there are definitely still some very common questions that Siri, on its own, wouldn’t have the answer to. Although Siri uses advanced machine learning to parse your questions, its artificial intelligence is not advanced enough to come up with clever responses to abstract questions. So Apple has clearly enlisted a few writers to come up with canned responses to common Siri queries.
Apple’s not the only company to write specific responses for its bot. When Microsoft introduced its new chat bot Tay, it used comedy writers to make sure its dialogue sparkled.
But sometimes, the funniest answers from an AI assistant are the ones that nobody could have anticipated.
Here are some of Siri’s best gags:
Siri can only answer your questions. Ask it something open-ended, and you're likely to get a funny quip.
Sometimes, Siri slips a joke in before answering your question. Ask it to find a podiatrist, and it's got a quip.
Obviously, Siri gets a lot of queries about despotic artificial intelligence. Sorry, Hal, it can't do that.
Apple used to be great at updating Siri with quips about similar products from Google, like Glass, or Microsoft, with its Cortana AI.
But Apple does keep Siri up-to-date with canned answers for its latest ads, like one in which the Cookie Monster uses Siri to help him bake a batch of cookies.
However, Siri's not great at understanding whether you're asking about life in general, or whether it's alive.
Siri's been able to answer silly questions since its first version, but Apple keeps the quips fresh and swaps them out from time-to-time.
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