Bank Of America Analyst Discovered In A Closet Passed Out With A Nosebleed

Now this could be a scandal, or it could just be a case of a kid working too hard: a Bank of America analyst was found passed out in a closet with a nosebleed, we have learned.

The closet is nothing. Bank of America analysts always sleep in the closets when they don’t want to go home at night. Usually they sleep on make-shift beds fashioned out of bubble wrap and it’s pretty comfortable.

This analyst however, was too exhausted to make a bed. He’d been at the office for three days.

His friends, wondering where he was on the third morning, started looking around for him. When they found him, he was sitting up-right in one of the closets with blood caked on his face.

A bloody nose always sounds the alarm for Drugs! and Cocaine! But our source says the bleeder had just been at work for too long without sleep, so there’s no reason to think this is anything. Just a ridiculous, stress-related nosebleed.

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