Bailout Fund Gets A Website

On its website, the Strategery Fund describes itself as “a unique hedge fund.” And indeed, it is unique. It purports to be the website of the huge bailout fund that the Treasury will have to rescue troubled financial institutions in the bailout bill is approved by the House.

“It is the largest in the world, with expected initial capital of $700 billion. It has a free and unlimited credit line should it need more. It has no fixed mandate, though it is expected to initially focus on mortgage-backed securities. And it is the only fund backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. Government,” Strategery’s website explains.

With a smirk the fund describes its investment strategy…or stategery.

“We are only looking for your absolute worst assets so that we can purchase them at fair market value and prevent a global financial collapse. We are in the process of making a list of the worst assets. Ben currently has the notebook and pen so please track him down to make sure your institution and assets are on there,” Stategery says.

Ben, of course, is Ben Bernanke, the head of the Federal Reserve. The two other principals are listed as Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson and President George Bush. They explain how lucky we all are to be investors in the fund.

If you are interested in investing in Strategery, you are in luck. The elegance of our approach is we do not need the high cost of marketing or investor relations departments. Rest assured that your capital and assets will be discreetly seized on your behalf.

There’s lots more to explore over at Strategery, including the surprising privacy policy and the fund’s description of it’s competitive advantages.

NOW WATCH: Money & Markets videos

Business Insider Emails & Alerts

Site highlights each day to your inbox.

Follow Business Insider Australia on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.