As the Hotel-Tell All, Oyster is very well-traveled when it comes to hotels.We’ve seen it all — whether good or bad.
Let it be known: after visiting thousands of hotels, the tiny fees, poor service, and mediocre food starts to get irritating.
VALET CHARGES: No parking? Don't charge through the roof for valet parking. You know it's our only choice and makes us bitter.
TOILET FLUSH DEMO: We appreciate you showing us how to flush the toilet upon the room check-in tour, but come on! We've been able to do that by ourselves for a long time now.
LOUNGE CHAIR RESERVE: When hotels allow guests to save lounge chairs by the pool by putting down a towel at 6 am, it makes other guests feel unworthy. We were under the impression that vacation was a time to relax – just because we're not in mood for an early-morning-lounge-chair-brawl doesn't mean we don't deserve a chair of our own. If you're not there, you're not lounging.
LOUNGE CHAIR CHARGES: Speaking of lounge chairs, charging for them and umbrellas is just stingy. We'll be more likely to give a bigger tip if we're not forced to pay for an amenity that should come with the hotel.
SELF WRITTEN REVIEWS: Listen, we're Oyster. We know the real reviews from the fake ones. And with this recent New York Times article, you better be careful.
PHOTO FAKEOUTS: We've mastered the art of investigating Photo Fakeouts – Oyster's most popular feature that exposes hotels' deceiving marketing photos. Heads up: if your main pool is the size of a kiddie pool, no need to angle the camera so the viewers think it's an Olympic size lap pool. We'll likely call you out on it.
WIFI CHARGES: Get with the times. It's like toilet paper and oxygen. Also, if WiFi is provided free of charge, give us a good signal. There is nothing more frustrating than slow or unusable Internet.
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