PRESENTING: Art Cashin's New Year's Poem Featuring Joan Rivers, The Polar Vortex, And 'Frozen'

Happy (almost) New Year!

Wednesday is the final day of 2014 and the final trading day of the year, which means that New York Stock Exchange legend Art Cashin — who on Tuesday celebrated 50 (!!) years on the exchange floor — publishes his year-end poem.

Last week, we featured Cashin’s Christmas poem, and now a week later we close out 2014 with another bit of poetry from a stock exchange institution.

‘Tis the day before New Year’s

and despite what you’re hopin’

The folks in the Boardroom

say “the full day we’re open”

So we’ll buy and we’ll sell

as the tape crawls along

And though “Bubbly’s” verboten

we may still sing a song

Two Thousand Fourteen

was ok, not really a wow

Till a Santa Claus rally

took us through Eighteen Thou

We lost special people

as we seem to each year

It just makes us treasure

each one that’s still here

Robin Williams, so manic

snuffed out his own light

Mickey Rooney’s gone also

into Dylan’s Good Night

Joan Rivers departed

when a doctor slipped up

And Sid Caesar now sips

from a heavenly cup

James Garner, “Bret Maverick”

has played his last hand

Polly Bergen now sings

in an Angelic band

Eli Wallach needs no badges

he’s got wings, I’ve a hunch

Elaine Stritch found a new place

now with cherubs she’ll lunch

Hurricane Carter

has thrown his last punch

Ann B. Davis as “Alice”

no longer waits on the “Bunch”

Bacall, who could whistle

took her last curtain call

Philip Seymour Hoffman

is now just down the hall

Casey Kasem’s now listing

Top 40 harp songs

Mayor Barry departed

moving on past his wrongs

Mike Nichols graduated

to Mrs. Robinson’s place

Ruby Dee now also

fills heaven with grace

Ben Bradlee followed Nixon

for one final time

Maya Angelou tells St. Peter

her favourite new rhyme

Oscar De La Renta

designed his last gown

“Adam Smith” (Jerry Goodman)

he has also left town

The threat of Ebola

made everyone fear

‘So Time made health workers

their Man of the Year

Kim K bared her assets

glossed up till they shone

But most folks on the net shrugged

and left the whole thing alone

Some guy near the White House

hopped up over the wall

And since the door was unlocked

he just strolled down the hall

The ice bucket challenge

made some hairdos a mess

But it raised lots of money

to help fight ALS

In their Little League Series

one kid pitched a pearl

As a young lady showed us

how to “throw like a girl”

Polar Vortex froze business

The year started out rough

But when we got defrosted

things seemed to go well enough

There were shootings, then lootings

things kept turning bizarre

Until a mad man came North

to shoot two cops in a car

We saw ISIS beheadings

and car bombs galore

Sadly, three different airliners

got half way but no more

Brad wed Angelina

and George Clooney – Amal

But some folks like Don Sterling

could not find any pal

There were midterm elections

The GOP did quite well

Will that help them to govern?

It’s way too early to tell

Sony thought it terrific

and they’d have lots of fun

If they made a joke movie

in which they killed Kim Jung Un

Derek Jeter retired

one game at a time

In most states, gay marriage

is no longer a crime

The NFL fumbled

on domestic abuse

We didn’t see the whole tape

was their only excuse

Rolling Stone ran a story

that they later withdrew

And more women blamed Cosby

saying the press really knew

Gwyneth Paltrow “decoupled”

Taylor Swift told streamers “No!”

In the kid’s movie Frozen

Elsa sang “Let it go”

Let not this year’s memories

of sadness or sleaze

Disturb you this day

just give your heart ease

Have faith that this New Year

will bring a new sign

And believe in yourself

it will all work out fine

Just lift up your spirits

and some fruit of the vine

And kiss ye a loved one

and sing Auld Lange Syne

And late in the evening

as you watch the ball fall

Wish yourself all the best

Happy New Year to All!!

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