Photo: Lynda W1
Cracked came out with a hilarious, well-researched list of seven things we all do wrong.They’re not what we’d think of as difficult tasks. Brushing teeth made the list. And breathing.
We’ve scanned the article and summarized the proper techniques for you here.
1. Relieving yourself
The problem: According to Cracked, modern porcelain thrones could be giving you hemorrhoids or diverticular disease. Instead, people were meant to relieve themselves by squatting in fields.
The solution: “If the thought of squatting awkwardly on top of your toilet seat isn’t for you, you can produce a similar poop-enhancing angle by resting your feet on a footstool (or anything handy) and leaning the top half of your body forward,” says Cracked.
The problem: When you scrub daily with soaps and rough sponges, a layer of skin is rubbed off, exposing cells that aren’t meant to be surfaced. This can make you more susceptible to diseases.
The solution: “When you shower, use warm or cool water and a mild soap (if at all), and rehydrate this layer by rubbing on some moisturizer afterward,” says Cracked.
The problem: “If you’re anything like most people, you raise your shoulders a little and puff out your chest like a pigeon in heat,” writes Cracked. You’re not using your diaphragm, so you’re taking a lot of shallow breaths. This can lead to migraines and fatigue.
The solution: Use abdominal muscles when you exhale for a stronger breath that strengthens your diaphragm.
The problem: You wake up multiple times each night. This can leave you tired and stressed.
The solution: For most of history, people did not sleep eight hours straight. Instead, they slept for a few hours, woke up for a little bit, then went back to sleep. Cracked blames the recent idea of long, unbroken rest on the invention of artificial light, which keeps people up later. To kick the bad habit, “stay calm and allow yourself to fall back to sleep naturally rather than lying there wondering why you’re awake. You usually won’t see any negative effects the next day,” says Cracked.
5. Giving birth
The problem: Most women give birth in the “lithotomy” position: on their backs with feet and legs elevated. This position fights gravity. It makes labour more difficult, decreases oxygen flow to the infant, and increases the likelihood of unpleasant tears.
The solution: Don’t lay down. Squat instead, which opens up the pelvis 10% more.
6. Brushing teeth
The problem: Dentists say to brush after every meal, but this can actually wear down gums, cause tooth loss, and strip teeth of enamel.
The solution: Keep brushing teeth twice per day, but don’t do it immediately following meals. Ingested acids and food that gets caught in teeth are what destroy gums and enamel.
Give your mouth some time to recover after eating or drinking before going at it.
The problem: Sitting for long amounts of time can kill you. It can increase your risk of getting diabetes or heart disease.
The solution: Active sitting. Sit on a yoga chair, an exercise ball, or anything besides your cushy office chair. You can also try a standing desk.
To read this article in its entirety, head over to Cracked >>
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