Every video game system, no matter how cool, has a glut of disappointing titles that fail to take advantage of a machine’s power.
Several years ago, we’d get suckered into buying these duds and attempt (through mental anguish) to find at least one good quality to justify spending $29.99-$39.99.
Nowadays, we’ve become stingier, all because of the App Store.
Let’s face it, publishers will have a lot of trouble pushing expensive shovel ware to Nintendo’s 3DS if gamers know they can find similar experiences on iPhone and iPad at significantly reduced prices.
That ultimately means developers need to put more hard work into making sure 3DS titles stand far apart from the best the App Store has to offer, a task that’s become more difficult, considering the high resolution 3D graphics in games like Infinity Blade 2and The Dark Meadow smoke anything 3DS has to offer.
That said, here’s a list of expensive 3DS games that would only cost a buck in the iPhone world.
Retailers charge $29.99 for a Konami game that’s so ugly, it might as well be available on the iPhone. Thing is, Frogger 3D looks noticeably worse than most of the 3D titles hitting the App Store, with pixilated, muddy and washed out textures, made worse by last generation special effects. Factor in the unimpressive play, and there’s no way this one deserves that MSRP.
We can only imagine how the App Store community would react if Ubisoft had the nerve to release Cubic Ninja on iPhone and iPad for $29.99. The mere thought makes us woozy.
Cubic Ninja is a new IP that attempted to capitalise on the 3DS gyroscope controls, but the publisher failed miserably. Not only that, but its visuals mock the system’s processing muscle, but hey, we’d buy that for a dollar.
The most shocking thing about Steel Diver is that it came from Nintendo, and was made available at the 3DS launch instead of a Mario game. Consumers received a bare bones DS reject with a neat first person mode that works in tandem with the gyroscope, but offers no depth whatsoever. It’s an OK game that feels like a tech demo that somehow costs $39.99. Unbelievable. How about 99 pennies instead?
Super Monkey Ball 3D
The worst thing about this bomb is the simple fact (yes, it is proven true without reasonable doubt) that the much older iPad title, Super Monkey Ball 2: Sakura Edition, is superior in every respect, especially when it comes to tilt control. Sega just phoned in Super Monkey ball 3D and expected fans to fork over 30 bones when the aforementioned Sakura Edition will run them a mere $4.99.
Gameloft must really think Nintendo fanatics have no clue about the App Store. That’s the only way to explain the publisher’s decision to release the horrid Asphalt 3D on 3DS for 30 bucks when iPhone users have enjoyed this franchise for years at significantly cheaper prices. Hell, Asphalt 6: Adrenaline, the best this series has to offer, costs $0.99 right now.
Madden NFL Football
Madden NFL 12 costs $6.99 for iPhone and rightfully so. EA pumped its pigskin title full of features.
What did it do with the 3DS launch game? Almost nothing. It’s a watered-down insult to the gaming public, with zero stat tracking in Season mode and no Franchise mode to speak of. It’s not even called Madden NFL 12, nor did EA release a version for 3DS this past August. Yeah, a dollar seems appropriate.
Square Enix must be out of its mind to charge people $29.99 for essentially the same puzzle game we’ve had for more than 10 years, with little innovation over the worn out formula.
Bottom line, players can beat the game in three hours. In case you’re not keeping score at home, that’s 10 bucks per hour.
At least iPhone users also need to pay a premium on New Bust-A-Move. You know, a whopping five big ones.