Photo: YouTube screengrab
We always hear about these Wall Street dating horror stories.There’s the rude email cover letter from an investment manager begging for a second date, the alleged stalking bank analyst and the finance guy’s spreadsheet comparing his online dating prospects, just to name a few of the more recent ones.
So we have to set some ground rules when it comes to dating the masters of the universe.
That’s why we’ve reached out to both male and female bankers, traders, analysts and hedge funders, etc. to create a definitive guide for dating on Wall Street.
Just remember: There are always exceptions to every rule.
Source: Skirt In Finance
'Don't give your banker boyfriend the keys to your apartment. You will forget you gave them to him after his lack of ever using them, and then when he comes over at 4 a.m. after an all nighter, you will end up calling 911 and/or pepper spraying him.'
Source: M/37/Sellside Tech/Chicago
'If you're gonna slip him the keys to your apartment at work, roll 'em up in a copy of the FT and plop them on his desk.'
'Don't text or call your trader boyfriend at 8:29 a.m. ET the first Friday of the month. Why you ask? Because he's about to make or lose a ton of money on the biggest economic release of the month -- change in non-farm payrolls. He's probably been waiting all week to see how this number comes out and as a result he'll probably make or lose a ton as a result. Not a good idea to get caught in the crossfire.'
'Never call between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. and 4 p.m. Why? The market opens at 9:30 a.m. and closes at 4:00 p.m. The opening and the close are by far our busiest times of the day.'
'If your boyfriend is a trader, learn how to read an economic calendar. Traders lives are 'event driven' -- which is why they sometimes say 'can't talk' and then just hang up the phone. While you can't know everything in advance, you can avoid his bewildered stare and absent apology when he says 'But you called just before the employment report.' P.S. Since the Fed basically runs the credit markets now, don't even think about calling if you see the name 'Bernanke' or the letters FOMC.''
'Since most hedge fund lose money, chances are, you are dating a loser.'
'If you're dating someone in finance, stick around until Valentine's Day -- it's right after his bonus hits the checking account, and he'll probably want to show off a little by taking you somewhere nice.'
Source: F/35/Sell-side Analyst/NYC
'Let her pay sometimes. We like that we can.'
'No matter what he says, he WILL be going to strip clubs, it's just where we hang out sometimes.'
'What no banker's girlfriend can ever believe is this: When a guy says he was entertaining clients -- and the girl accuses him of getting drunk on bottle service with his friends before heading to a strip club -- it's possible for both statements to be true.
'When he says 'going out with clients' that's a blanket statement, and it could cover everything and anything.'
'No good can come out of your significant other attending a work function...People start having strange feelings for each other after 16 hour workdays together and a couple of drink.'
'Don't ever ask: Is the market supposed be closed? It's a global world: Somebody is always trading something somewhere. When a guy is staring at a Bloomberg at 1:00 a.m. on a Tuesday, it's not for fun.'
'Bankers screw up more often than most guys. The upside for the girl is this: Cartier & Tiffany. Basically, bankers think of their girlfriends the same way they think of the SEC: It's usually easier to pay the toll than fight the charge.'
'Don't take any of our Adderall. We count it: We count everything.'
'Need I point out the obvious? Don't expect monogamy: Guys who are addicted to adrenaline get bored very quickly.'
Source: F/26/VP Equities/NY
'For women: ...Either make peace with the downsides of dating a finance man and refrain from complaining to them or they will find someone within a month and you'll be back to dating guys whose idea of a nice dinner is Mamoum's instead of Per Se.
'If you're dating a co-worker, never sleep with your peers or superiors, sleep down or in a different department.
Source: F/35/Sell-side Analyst/NY
'If you work in a creative field, don't make your wall street partner feel like a sellout (I date a lot of Brooklyn types - this is always an issue in the beginning).'
'The best one, of course, is always 'Don't Do It''