10 Business Resolutions That Are Actually Achievable

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Photo: ABC News/Runners Space

Too often, resolutions are made without being followed through, usually due to lack of effort or the impossibility of the resolution.But due to a poor economy and overregulation, small business owners have been taught not to think big anymore. In that vein, I’ve decided to come up with a set of realistic small business New Year’s Resolutions for 2011 (albeit a little late in the month).

As a small business owner, I’m accustomed to working hard to succeed in an almost impossible environment — so let’s see how well I stick to my list this year.

Stop Being So Damn Negative

In 2011, I'm going to cut negativity down by 50% in my life. So instead of hearing 'NO' from 10 different banks when asking for any type of loan, I'll only go into five.

I'll look at the number zero literally, which equals the amount of dollars I will receive in the form of lines of credit or loans for my business as neither a positive or a negative because the number zero is neither -- hey I know I'm reaching but I've learned to take what I can get.

Speaking of negativity, I will try to be more positive in front of my staff and family. As a business owner, I carry all the weight on my shoulders. As each day goes by, I only hear more and more negative news and I just can't take it anymore.

Negativity consumes me so I will not show it in 2011 and I will bottle it all up. Good thing we now have Obamacare because I'll definitely need a shrink or I just might go postal.

Fill the Swiss Cheese Size Holes

In 2011, I will be focused on the things stifling my growth vs. growth itself. It's time to fill the holes created by vague laws and regulations like the health care bill and new wage laws.

These bills and laws along with a bankrupt state stalking me for more money makes me feel like my company went from being a strong block of aged Parmesan to a thin slice of Swiss.

In 2010, I was made to feel like I grew too fast over the past few years. I created too many jobs, our profits were too high, and I had way too much fun. Well, the fun's over and now I have been de-motivated so I will focus on fixing the past vs. creating for the future.

Befriend a Doctor Who Will Prescribe Me Adderall

In 2011, I will focus on understanding the red tape of my industry. I will hunker down and try to review all these new laws and regulations at no cost besides my own precious time.

It's extremely important for me to know every little detail of these laws because there are people out there presently taking advantage of me with lawsuits and fines because I have missed the fine points and don't have a thorough understanding of these bills at all.

You know like the third paragraph, second line from the bottom on page 1002 in the new health reform bill or the updated wage law that gave me two weeks notice during the busiest time of the year (nice right?) to change all my payroll requirements for most of my 300 employees.

These laws scare the crap out of me. I need to understand them all. Thank god for Obamacare in 2011 because I will need a prescription of Adderall to accomplish this.

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Tally Bar/Restaurant Closures and Buy Duane Reade Stock

In 2011, I will tally the number of amazing bars and restaurants that close due to losing their leases to landlords trying to jack up the rent and are shortly replaced by either a Chase Bank or a Duane Reade (which conveniently only has Chase ATM's).

These added bank branches will only increase my chances of loan rejection, but here comes the Obamacare positive side of things, more Duane Reades to give me Prozac and turn my frown upside down.

Get More involved in Government to Make Changes

In 2011, I will write my local representatives and try to meet with them to explain to them from a small business owner perspective how wrong they are and how they are literally killing jobs with their policies.

This won't get me anywhere because I will be pushed to an aide who is 24 years old and has no relevant experience.

Come to think of it, my rep has no clue what I do, how to run a business and what these laws are actually doing to stymie me. I will come to the realisation that we will never stop this nonsense of broken policies from broken politicians. But somehow, I will remain positive in 2011.

Shut Off My Crackberry for At least 1 Hour Every Day

In 2011, I will try to shut my crackberry off for 1 hour in the day to spend that time with my two kids because they recharge me from all the crap I have to deal with as an owner of several small businesses.

Of course I'll only become more stressed when I'll turn on my phone and realise I'm 62 emails behind. On what page of the Obamacare packet does it say I can get some Zoloft for all my anxiety?

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2010 was all about being substance free and negativity. This year, I am resolved to be positively medicated. We'll worry about growth and new jobs for 2012.

Join a Gym and Eat Healthier

Oh and most importantly in 2011 I'll try to eat more grilled chicken salads instead of Dos Toros' grilled chicken burritos and boneless chicken wings from Village Pourhouse.

Although, none of my resolutions mention cutting out stress which means my psychosis will keep me in shape- bring on the wings!

Looking for more ways to revamp your life this year?

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