20 Signs That You're A Narcissist

christopher dornerFormer LAPD officer Christopher Dorner

Photo: AP Images

The ex-LAPD officer who was the most hunted fugitive in California until Tuesday might have been a huge narcissist, according to experts. Christopher Dorner, who allegedly killed two civilians and a cop, is presumed dead after a fire ravaged the mountain cabin where he was hiding from police. 

Dorner was likely suffering from a “classic case of malignant narcissistic personality disorder,” retired FBI profiler Mary Ellen O’Toole told The Associated Press, pointing to his grandiose belief that he could evade all the police chasing him down.

In Michael Maccoby’s book The Productive Narcissist: The Promise and Peril of Visionary Leadership,” he says that many leaders have some element of narcissism.

However, the productive ones have learned to retain an element of their egos, while moderating the negative side effects of narcissism. 

Lawyers may also share those narcissistic traits. 

The over-the-top workaholic tendencies that make lawyers so great at their jobs means they may also be perfectionists, which is a narcissistic trait

We collected a variety of insights from Maccoby’s book, Psychology Today, and other sources and compiled them into a diagnostic test.

The more you identify with these characteristics, the more likely you’re an egocentric narcissist. 

You enjoy leading others and telling them what to do.

Narcissists typically enjoy leadership positions since they are able to dominate others without explanation and fulfil their need for constant positive reinforcement.

Source: Psychology Today

You are an entertainer.

'A narcissist monk would not be good, but to be Kanye West and a narcissist is fantastic,' said University of South Alabama psychologist Peter Jonason, an expert on mating psychology and 'the darker side of human nature.'

Source: Psychology Today

You are likely young and male.

After 34,653 face-to-face interviews, psychologist Frederick Stinson found that men tend to be more narcissistic than women across their lifespans.

Narcissism is believed to peak during adolescence and decline with age.

Source: Psychology Today

You're a workaholic — which means you're also impatient and compulsive.

You often lie to make yourself seem better.

This is a narcissistic trait most lawyers share, according to Law.com.

Lawyers 'have generous helpings of narcissism and are so 'needy for the affirmation of success' that they allow themselves to lie to get what they want, according to Board-certified psychiatrist Richard Ratner.

Source: Law.com

You are regarded as attractive and dress better than other people.

Narcissists are generally rated as more stylish and physically attractive, according to a study conducted by Simine Vazire, a psychologist at Washington University.

Source: Psychology Today

You really like to curse.

Psychologists Nicholas Holtzman and Michael Strube from Washington University in St. Louis found in a study that subjects who scored higher in narcissism are argumentative and curse more than their modest counterparts.

They also tend to use more sexually explicit language.

Source: Psychology Today

You wait for other people to stop talking so you can start.

Anita Vangelisti, a psychologist at the University of Texas in Austin, found that narcissists typically prefer to keep the conversation centered around themselves. They put the focus on themselves by 'making exaggerated hand movements, talking loudly, and showing disinterest by 'glazing over' when others speak,' he says.

Source: Psychology Today

And you put your needs before others.

Other people's problems are always second to your own.

For example, say you're tired but a friend calls you desperately needing to talk about a problem. If you aren't a narcissist, you'll forgo sleeping to talk to your friend.

But if you are a narcissist, your need for sleep will be more important than your friend.

Source: Psychology Today

You engage in a lot of sexual hookups.

Narcissistic people tend to have more short-term hookups than non-narcissists.

'I allow a woman to feel the gift of really wanting me whenever I feel she needs to feel that,' writes Erik von Markovik in The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction. 'Every three weeks or so I remind her that I continue to have options, and continue to choose her.'

Narcissistic women consistently dress provocatively, and narcissistic men like to show their wittiness.

Source: Psychology Today

You cheat in relationships.

Psychologists Joshua Foster at the University of South Alabama and W. Keith Campbell at the University of Georgia found in a study that narcissists are more likely to cheat once they think their partners are committed.

They also seem to get a rush out of convincing others to engage in promiscuous sexual acts that they normally do not participate in.

Source: Psychology Today

And you feel no remorse about the people you hurt.

'The beauty of being a narcissist is that even when disaster stares you in the face, you feel neither doubt nor remorse.'

This trait became apparent when researchers asked narcissists to perform a test that was rigged to fail.

While most participants tried to protect their partner, narcissists had no problem throwing their partner under the bus.

'But the narcissists would say, 'It's totally the other person's fault.' They're completely willing to step on someone,' narcissism researcher Keith Campbell said.

Source: Psychology Today

People consistently break up with you after four months of dating.

Through his research, Campbell found that the four-month mark -- the apparent satisfaction peak in any dating relationship -- is typically how long it takes for someone dating a narcissist to see their true colours.

Source: Psychology Today

You really hate being criticised.

Narcissists take any form of concern as criticism and immediately become defensive.

From Psychology Today: 'In addition, because they think everything is about them, they hear others' attempts to talk about personal feelings as veiled criticisms of themselves. Taking others' concerns as personal criticism is called personalizing. E.g., If she says 'I'm feeling lonely,' her narcissistic friend will hear, 'You don't spend enough time with me.''

Source: Psychology Today

And you find ways to punish others when you feel you've been rejected.

You may seek admiration by devaluing others.

Narcissistic people intentionally put down others in order to maintain a high positive image of themselves.

'Seeking admiration is like a drug for narcissists,' said Mitja D. Back, a psychologist at Johannes Gutenberg-University in Mainz, Germany. 'In the long run it becomes difficult because others won't applaud them, so they always have to search for new acquaintances from whom they get the next fix.'

This also explains why narcissists typically maintain only weak relationships.

Source: Psychology Today

Your parents consistently ignored and adored you simultaneously.

According to Sigmund Freud, a combination of parental rejection and excessive admiration is more strongly linked to adult narcissism than if one childhood experience consistently existed without the other.

The inconsistency and whiplash of the parents' attitude towards their children will eventually cause a 'deep craving for admiration' and lead the narcissist to lead a life searching for fleeting ego boosts.

Source: Psychology Today

If you're a guy, you choose your male friends to either attain a higher social status or have a partner to exploit women with.

Narcissistic men and women choose their male friends very differently.

Women choose opposite-sex friends who have high social status in order to feel a false sense of worthiness whereas men choose male companions who have similar values as them so they have a 'wingman' while exploiting women.

Source: Psychology Today

You often drop other people's names during conversations in order to feel important.

Are you still afraid you might be a psychopath?

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