Scholars say that what we now call English started when Germanic tribes settled in present-day Britain at around 500 CE.
A staggering 47,156 words are now obsolete.
But, as you’ll see from the below, some of the mother tongue’s finest phrasings need to be brought back, as they will help us mark our days and describe our lives better than what’s currently on offer.
Example: 'I'll have that report to you overmorrow.'
Why: Overmorrow was in Middle English but fell out of the language. So instead of having this word, we have the wordy 'day after tomorrow.' German still has this very useful word: übermorgen.
Example: 'I'm bedward, putting this group text on mute.'
Why: Because it treats your bed as a cardinal direction. As it should be.
Example: 'I think I bruised my scalp trying to get those elflocks out.'
Why: Because hair tangles are frustrating, but elflocks are adorable. And speaking of them helps to re-enchant our world.
Example: 'He was in a zwodder all day after last night's party.'
Why: Because the word 'hangover' is a catchall for all sorts of physiological debts we end up paying by pushing ourselves too hard. It would help to have more precise words.
Example: 'That rawgabbit posts his opinion on Facebook about every single thing that happens in the news.'
Reason: Because frauds should be named.
Example: 'I knew I was in for it when they stopped twattling soon as I walked in the room.'
Why: Because 'twattling' is one of those words that sounds like the thing it describes: twattle, twattle, twattle.
Example: 'We have a meeting with sales every fortnight.'
Why: Because biweekly is woefully confusing -- is it twice a week or every two weeks? Fortnight -- and its sibling fornightly -- help cure that ambiguity.
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