10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

He would have loved firing that FaceID buffoon. Picture: Getty Images

Good morning.

1. The Apple ‘supercycle’ has begun, and it’s… expensive. If you really love your kids, you won’t send them to school with anything less than the iPhone X. You can preorder it on October 27, it ships on November 3, and starts at $1579. The 256GB iPhone X will cost $1829. For that, here are all the new things you’ll get:

But don’t panic – if you don’t love your kids as much as other parents, you can get them the new iPhone 8, starting at $1079. Remember, iPhones aren’t for rich people. Now for the other things.

2. First, we got a good look at the Steve Jobs Theatre, which has a secret room and $US14,000 seats and opened with a tribute to the man it was named after. He would have fired whoever was responsible for the failure of the FaceID demonstration, immediately:

But he would have loved telling everyone the Apple Watch now outsells Rolex and is the most popular watch in the world. The new model also comes with a mobile connection option and these five other new features. And the new Apple TV will be able to stream 4K, or Ultra HD.

3. To markets, and Apple stock fell on disappointment over the later release date for the iPhone X. But the party on the markets kept raging, with all the big indices in the US and Europe continuing their climbs. Apart from the UK, which was dealing with its highest inflation figure since August last year. The Aussie dollar held up and iron ore rebounded. ASX Futures are up ahead of today’s release of potentially another extension to the disastrous monthly Westpac/Melbourne Institute consumer confidence index.

4. South Korea’s “decapitation unit” has a name. The New York Times says the troops tasked with lopping off Kim Jong-un’s head have been named the “Spartan 3000”. It might not actually be real, though, but here’s why South Korea is publicly talking about it anyway.

5. Barbuda, Anguilla, the Virgin Islands, and Cuba were hit by the worst of Hurricane Irma, and there are claims 90% of their structures were damaged or destroyed. There’s no denying 90% of their greenery was wiped out:

Caribbean islands nasa satellite hurricane IrmaNASA Earth ObservatoryDevastation caused by Hurricane Irma has wiped out greenery on these Caribbean Islands.

There are more astonishing satellite images here. If you want to watch all of Irma slamming Miami in 90 seconds, here’s the time-lapse you’ve been looking for. And one resident on the US Virgin Islands claims everyone “is walking around with sharpened machetes and guns”.

Want to tap into our bigger picture? Sign up for our new service, Business Insider Research, and get daily briefings and regular reports from Australia, as well as free access to reports from our US research service, BI Intelligence.

6. The most poisoned chalice in Hollywood must be the job of “Star Wars” director for Disney. We saw Gareth Edwards shoved aside for Tony Gilroy to “Abrams-ise” Rogue One. Josh Trank left a Boba Fett standalone movie in 2015. Chris Mill and Phil Lord were fired from the Han Solo project. And after Colin Trevorrow was ditched from Episode IX, Disney has announced J.J. Abrams will return to reshoot Return of the Jedi finish the trilogy, which will now not be showing until December, 2019.

7. Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JPMorgan, called Bitcoin a bubble “worse than the tulip bulbs bubble of the 1700s. It took a hit:

But it’s heading back up again now, despite Dimon also adding that he would fire any trader using the cryptocurrency “for being stupid”. Right now, Bank of America says it’s the “most crowded” trade.

8. In a Reddit thread called “What did your job want you to hide from customers?”, one user claimed he had used a dirty trick at McDonald’s. “They taught me how to pinch the fry carton just right while putting the fries into them so that it looked full, but actually wasn’t.” He was even called out on the half-order it by a customer. McDonald’s told us such a trick doesn’t exist.

9. Hillary Clinton is on the sales tour for her book about her failed election campaign. In one passage, she compared herself to Games of Thrones power player Cersei Lannister. Right-wing media are having a field day with the book which reportedly only adds “fuel to a fire that doesn’t need much kindling”.

10. Have you been to a “networking event”? Keith Ferrazi never has, and says they’re for the “desperate and uninformed”. He reckons you’re better off paying to fly first-class, and striking up a conversation with your seatmate when your meals arrive.

BONUS ITEM: The new Kermit, Matt Vogel, tested out his Muppet vocal cords:

Have a great day.

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