10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Thank you. Picture: Getty Images

Welcome to Friday.

1. Footy! It’s finals time for both codes. Sydney scraped into the AFL top four, yet bizarrely, only just missed out on a minor premiership. That tells you all you need to know about how tightly the AFL’s final four weeks will run. There’s virtually no chance of Adam Goodes returning next year, so tomorrow’s game against Freo could be the start of his last eight days at the top of his game. But first, Hawthorn has a great chance of destroying West Coast fans in Perth tonight. In the NRL, it’s state versus state when Melbourne and the Roosters collide tonight, but the biggest tickets in town are for tomorrow night’s all-Queensland affair. Settle in.

2. To the markets, and at the close of business, US markets were off their highs but still well and truly in the black. That means the ASX SPI 200 futures are pointing to a mildly better day for Australian stocks, reinforced by a big rally in energy. Crude bounced more than 3% and iron ore just keeps on keeping on. Also, there’s no data Down Under today, and that’s not a bad thing.

3. The Aussie dollar is doing well again. Some technicians are telling Greg McKenna it’s heading up toward 72 cents. Here’s the chart:

AUDUSD Daily 11092015 (Go Markets, MT4)

It’s closing in on 71 cents right now after getting dragged back into the lowish 69 cents region yesterday after the Kiwis cut rates, then getting a boost by yesterday’s stronger than expected jobs data.

4. Planet X is alive again. If you’re any kind of conspiracy theorist, you’d know the mythical planet ‘Nibiru’ could one day wipe out Earth. Now, you just might have science on your side – a Carnegie Institution astronomer thinks something he’s calling a “perturber” is pulling dwarf planets on the other side of Pluto into a rough orbit. Mind blown.

5. Perhaps we should nuke it and see if Elon Musk’s theory for making Mars habitable in double-quick time stands up. It was one of several great moments in his appearance on Stephen Colbert’s ‘Late Show’ which made Colbert realise Musk was more Dr Doom than Iron Man.

6. All that money. Tales of drug lord Pablo Escobar’s wealth will probably never get old, and here’s a gem Amanda Macias pulled from Escobar’s brother’s book. At his peak, Escobar was pulling in $US420 million cash per week and just stashing it anywhere he could – fields, warehouses, inside walls. His brother Robert, the accountant, says they wrote off 10% that was eaten by rats or destroyed by mould. Do the math – that adds up to $US2.1 billion a year. Oh, and here’s Escobar posing in front of the presidential home of the country he once imported 15 tonnes of cocaine into – every day.

7. It’s bad enough that your boss hates you. Now here’s 16 subtle signs your co-workers don’t like you either, and according to some workplace experts, that’s a problem you need to fix, mainly because it just makes life easier. And given you give over five of each seven days of your life to work, it makes sense to bite your tongue and smile more.

8. Skinny girls get all the good jobs. If you count squeezing through a 10-inch gap to blow the lid off what science knows about our ancestors as a good job. A couple of cavers stumbled across the remains of at least 15 individuals in South Africa’s Cave of Stars, and details of their discovery of a new ancestor are incredible. The group’s leader was too large to get into the cave, so he “recruited some skinny female scientists to retrieve the bones”:

Read more about their amazing discovery here.

9. “I hope homophobic people find professional help,” says University of Rome professor Emmanuele Jannini. Why? Because he’s a medical sexologist who surveyed 551 university students and found that, without jumping to any quick conclusions, homophobia should “absolutely” be classified as a psychiatric disease.

10. Do you use Gmail? Here’s 16 ways to use it better. Promise.

BONUS VIDEO: Posting this fully understanding that a lot of people in Sydney’s inner suburbs won’t get it.

Have a great weekend. Go the Bloods.

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