10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

And on that day, the Trump Rally ended. Picture: HBO

Good morning and welcome to the two-week countdown.

1. A season for not doing any business, there is no such thing. Just ask the FOMC – it’s 100% likely to raise rates in the US on Wednesday night, so that’s priced in. What it says afterward in regard to 2017 is more important. There’s more OPEC deal-making tomorrow and Wednesday. China’s monthly activity indicators and BoJ Tankan business survey will be watched closely and New Zealand has a bunch of Q3 GDP indicators dropping. The main interest here will be Tuesday’s NAB Business Survey and then the ABS Labour Force. Keep on top with Greg McKenna’s NAB-powered diary of event this week.

2. Trump continues to make headlines for being more normal than other people in power. In a Fox News interview this morning, he asked: “Why should some other nation be able to say I can’t take a call?” And then dared to say someone else could do his daily intelligence briefing if there’s nothing new to add to yesterday’s daily intelligence briefing. Maverick! Meanwhile on SNL, Walter White returned to mock Trump’s cabinet choices and take up his role as the head of the Drug Enforcement Agency. Comedy ensues.

3. On markets, even Carl Icahn thinks the Trump rally has gone too far, and he’s made a pile off it. The last time US stocks were this expensive, this happened:

Picture: Getty Images

Oh, those Great Depression labour queues. Anyhoo, the December SPI 200 contract was up 23 points on Friday night after US stocks had another solid gain. The Aussie dollar’s holding firm and iron ore is resilient above $80 a tonne.

4. Want a slice of Snapchat’s IPO? And a gun? Then hightail it to California, get your security guard licence and apply for the “Residential Security Officer” job. You could be like the graffiti artist who painted Facebook’s HQ and wound up with $200 million.

5. If you missed out on the share options, at least there’s the free food. Business Insider toured the New York City offices of Yelp, Uber, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Kickstarter, and found some pretty amazing kitchens.

6. You need to work on your Dad Game. Or try to make sure your kids never see this post about the stuff this Netherlands dad does on Photoshop for his kids. Stuff like this:

Picture: Adrian Sommeling

There are more pics of the giant kid here.

7. Qantas plans to fly non-stop from Australia to London. But there’s a catch.

8. Choking? Listen carefully:

1. Form a fist with your stronger hand below your rib cage and just above the navel. Place your other palm over the fist to push more firmly.

2. Drive your fist in and up in the diaphragm area (the top of your stomach) forcefully and repeat several times until the object that’s stuck in your throat gets dislodged.

If you’re still alive, you’ve just realised that yes, you can perform the Heimlich on yourself. And here are 14 other ways we’ve found for you to save your own life.

NOTE: You should know the Heimlich Maneuver is not a medically authorised procedure in Australia. Media reports about whether “the Heimlich” is the safest and most effective treatment have resulted from research by Peter Heimlich and his wife Karen Shulman, the son and daughter-in-law of Dr Henry Heimlich, widely-credited for developing the treatment.

9. Wearables are dead. Steve Kovach said so. He may be right.

10. Last week, we learned why the Death Star will always have a weak spot. This week, celeb astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson tells us why he thinks a planet-destroying weapon doesn’t make any sense at all.

BONUS ITEM: The Westworld/Back to the Future mashup you’ve been waiting for:

Have a great day.

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