10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Predictions – not hard at all, really. Picture: 20th Century Fox

Good morning.

1. So yeah, he did it. It’s tempting to say “against the odds”, but let’s be honest here – mainly with ourselves, the media – Trump’s rise to power was comfortably the most, some might say deliberately, misread political phenomenon of our time. The pressure to keep your social media standing, the relentless daily search for anti-Trump clickbait and the rise of journalists desperate to join the cult of celebrity pretty much ensured one in every two Americans’ voices were drowned out in the past 12 weeks. Shock and horror at the situation now is fine – it is what it is – but please, spare the hand-wringing and “disbelief”. That’s just ignorance. And as for “scientific” polling, well, there’s a whole billion-dollar industry on the edge of going down the drain right now.

It’s time to get on with the show.

2. First, the speeches. Many were surprised at Trump’s conciliatory tone. Many were probably actually just tuning in for an extended Trump speech for the very first time, as opposed to inflammatory grabs. Here it is in full – you can read it or watch it. And this morning, Hillary Clinton emerged. You’d have a heart of ice to not feel sorry for someone who’s worked so hard, for so long, and spent the last 12 weeks working on her acceptance speech. Here’s what she had to say. And here’s what the current Leader of the Free World had to say.

3. The papers. Newspaper covers around the world marked the victory with a similar tone. But there was a clear winner:

4. Markets. Went wild. Some traders on the NYSE floor even booed Clinton during her concession speech, which was obviously poor form. But the Dow and S&P both recovered from 5% downturns to finish the day up more than 1%, in turn boosting Euro stocks. ASX futures traders have the SPI up 3% this morning. The peso is down – no surprises there – but the Aussie dollar actually performed superbly and is at 0.7654 this morning. Iron ore smashed through to a two-year high. And here’s what Deutsche Bank reckons will happen to Australian stocks next.

5. Who else won?

6. This is extraordinary. Guess how much you would have won if you’d placed a £1 accumulator bet on Leicester City winning the Premier League, Britain voting to leave the European Union and Donald Trump beating Hilary Clinton when they were at their longest odds? If you said “£4,530,906”, you’re a special kind of rich genius. That, in a nutshell, is a great snapshot of what an extraordinary year 2016 has been.

7. Remember that awkward moment Leia snubbed Chewie and hugged Rey instead? JJ Abrams regrets it.

Back to your seats now everyone.

8. Business leaders. Here’s what the likes of Richard Branson, Mark Cuban, Jeff Weiner and Marc Benioff had to say overnight. Better – this is the memo Jamie Dimon just sent to JPMorgan staff about the US election.

9. Our leader. Malcolm Turnbull reassured us all that we still have “so much in common” with our US friends. Tony Abbott chimed in:

And Bill Shorten said he’ll stay honest:

10. No doubt emotions are running high at the office. Especially, given now they realise they’re not alone, that 1 in every 2 coworker is feeling good enough about themselves that they can wear their red hat today. We have some tips on how to deal with each other nicely. For starters, shouting about how this is some kind of “dumb people won” moment is not only incorrect, it’s ugly and intolerant. And if you need professional help, a psychologist reveals how to get rid of exactly those kind of negative thoughts.

11. We had the usual raft of “I’m leaving this country” rhetoric flooding our social media channels all night. If we can’t wake up this morning realising this is a global phenomenon, we never will, so sure, go ahead and enjoy a change while it’s still available somewhere. Here are 3 countries that invited Americans to move after the election. And yes, defecting to Mars during Trump’s presidency is theoretically possible.

12. Oh, and New Zealand just cut rates.

Sorry, we went overtime. It’s that kind of day.

BONUS ITEM: Twitter users are turning their profiles black to protest the vote. Which makes this an even better post then when it was posted a month ago:

Have a great day.

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