10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Where the top secret spy satellite lands, nobody knows. Zuma Mission by Spacex © 2017, Flickr, licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 License.

Good morning.

1. Okay, who lost the highly classified super top secret US spy satellite? “Zuma” is most likely resting at the bottom of an ocean in pieces somewhere right now, after separating from the Falcon 9 rocket. SpaceX owns the Falcon 9, but isn’t commenting on the mission other than something along the lines of:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Falcon 9 “performed nominally” and the focus is now on the company that built the Zuma payload and its adaptor, Northrop Grumman.

2. To markets, and bonds got sold off around the globe overnight, adding to concerns rising yields might be 2018’s market disruptor. But for now, the stock bulls still hold sway and ASX200 futures are pointing higher as the pending earnings season boosts US stocks. The yen strength put the US dollar under pressure, helping the Aussie to push higher into its record run. But the sellers came and broke the run as Euro trade got under way.

3. In cryptocurrency news, JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon folded and admitted he regretted calling bitcoin a fraud back in Septmeber. But he still isn’t into it, unlike famed hedge funder Mike Novogratz, who just announced he is planning a crypto version of Goldman Sachs.

4. Facebook wasn’t at CES, but stole all the tech headlines this morning after an anonymous source leaked details of a video-chat device called “Portal”. At the actual show, Razer unveiled an amazing add-on for its powerful “gamers” smartphone – a laptop. The phone slots into Project Linda’s touchpad and da-daaa:

Razer

Razer, however, is known for showing concepts at CES without them ever becoming a reality.

5. This, however, is reality:


The Sapphire Las Vegas is luring geeks away from CES with robot strippers with cameras for heads.

6. “In every way, nations come to resemble their enemies.” Conservative New York Times columnist and proud anti-Trumper David Brooks nailed the biggest problem highlighted by Michael Wolff’s book “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House”. Namely, that the Never Trump movement is failing at a rapidly accelerating rate as it desperately embraces shoddy journalism which attempts to portray the White House in chaos. When it clearly isn’t.

7. North Korea and South Korea met in the “truce village” of Panmunjom to hold their highest-level talks since 2015. They agreed to reopen the military hotline, which is great for avoiding accidental nuclear wars, and to send a few North Korean athletes and performers to South Korea’s Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. And here’s a bunch of pics of what life is like in Panmunjom.

8. Wait for it:

That’s what internet used to be like for Old People back in the 90s. And you’re probably taking that jaw-grinding trip down memory lane today if your PC is one of possibly millions unable to cope with the patch to protect it against the Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws. Console yourself with the knowledge that Intel and AMD shares are taking a hit on the news.

9. It can’t be easy being Bill Gates and having all those billions to spend. But he does have a process for how he and his wife Melinda choose which of the world’s deadliest diseases to fight, and he recently outlined it at the recent JP Morgan Healthcare Conference. So here’s what it takes for the Gateses to classify a treatment as “promising” enough for one of their world-changing investments.

10. Lifestyles of the rich and narcissistic. Here’s a tour inside Cristiano Ronaldo’s $8.3 million luxury family villa in Spain. Come for the two pools, personalised blankets and giant portraits of himself, stay for this picture of his ridiculous thighs:

A post shared by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on

BONUS ITEM: Y’all probably never heard the Charlie Daniels classic “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”. But you should check it out, along with Daniels’ Twitter account, where he had a swipe at Taco Bell’s “Belluminati” campaign:


And sparked one of the best reply threads of 2018:

Have a great day.

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