10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Innocent. Picture: Fox

1. The Super Bowl was boring, with one team even having more turnovers than third-down conversions. Huh. But that’s what you get if you actually watch the eight minutes of play time. If you’d paid attention in the other two hours and 52 minutes you would have:

So yeah, it was easily the most entertaining couple of hours on telly yesterday.

2. Everything got crushed last night – but not gold. It’s been falling for five years, and failed as a safe haven through Grexit, two market routs and a China devaluation. But it’s up in 2016 some 15% – about $150 – from its December low. Greg McKenna thinks he knows why – and what could keep it going up.

3. Markets finished better than they could have, given these seven alarming headlines about all the bad things that are happening right now. The Dow and S&P dropped 1.1% and 1.45% respectively, so ASX 200 futures are well off their overnight lows. The March SPI 200 contract is down 1.3%, 64 points. And the dollar did OK, holding steady at 0.7084 because the US dollar didn’t do OK.

4. Who’d be a cop? If it’s not Beyonce hating on you, it’s Sydney “diners” who want to stay at their tables until 11pm drinking 150ml of red for $15 a glass. We’ll have an update later this morning on the 10 William St Scandal, because well, it’s hilarious and Foodies’ Lives Matter. The cops noted the owner actually called it a “wine bar” himself in the Daily Tele. But one diner said they had actually just ordered dessert when police peeked in the window. Sigh. Next they’ll be complaining that Bar Century has had to close because nobody’s drinking in pubs anymore.

Innocent. Picture: Getty

5. Here’s a perfectly lovely policewoman:
Ha. She’s not really a cop. That’s Josephine Skriver, one of 10 Victoria’s Secret models who started out with the brand pushing its PINK line of sleepwear and intimates. Which means they’re a good chance to be future Angels, and Mallory Schlossberg has the skinny on them here.

6. In Russia, people avoid whistling at home. In Japan, people carry an origami frog. Both lots hope that will make them rich. Obviously it doesn’t, but it also doesn’t make you poor either, so why not give it a go? We’ve rounded up nine money-saving traditions around the world to help kick off the Lunar New Year, because remember – “a purse on the floor is money out the door”. Or something.

7. Malcolm Turnbull wants to save money. That’s why he’s wondering how Tony Abbott’s renovations to The Lodge have blown out from $3 million to $15 million. While everyone else in Australia is thinking “tradies”.

8. Let’s run with the New Year thing. Will you turn 12, 24, 36 or any multiple of 12 this year? Then 2016 is your turn to shine. It’s the Year of the Monkey, your zodiac and that means you’re generally energetic and upbeat, but sometimes lack self-control. Here’s a guide to all the zodiacs and if you’re looking for a sensational Chinese meal, here’s Olivia Chang’s guide to eating out in Sydney this festival season.

9. Bad Cops #2. When The Simpsons meets “Making a Murderer”, there can only be one GIF:

Vulture has pieced together footage and voiceovers from the two shows and the trailer featuring Homer, man against the world, is perfect.

10. Do you hate your telco? The Telecommunications Industry Ombudsman has released its latest complaints figures, which shows drops all around, so that’s the good news. But if you’re looking to switch, there’s one standout performer.

BONUS ITEM: Watch this robot replace Tiger Woods at hitting holes-in-one:

Have a great day.

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