10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Je suis Crabtree. Picture: BBC

Good moaning.

1. And it’s Macron in a landslide. The 39-year-old is now the youngest president in France’s history after beating far-right nationalist candidate Marine Le Pen 65.1% to 34.9%.

It’s a win for the centrist, pro-business, pro-EU movement, a push back against the nationalists and an almighty shove for the incumbent socialists. A record 25% refused to vote and a record 12% cast a donkey vote. Macron must now work to win a majority for his En Marche! party in next month’s parliamentary elections.

2. The polls got it wrong. They predicted it to be much closer. All the big pollsters just released an autopsy report on how they got it so wildly wrong in the US last year and found that they, uh, underestimated support for Trump.

3. Markets loved it. Or will love it tonight. Euro stocks rose Friday ahead of the expected result, and US markets are already high on a strong non-farm payrolls report. The euro breached $1.10 for the first time since the US elections. Commodities staged a late rally as well, so the ASX200 is looking good, with June Futures pricing in a 55-point climb at the open.

4. Budget night is tomorrow night. And today’s leak is all about how federal treasurer Scott Morrison will come after the big banks.

5. When René Redzepi packed up at Barangaroo, he needed something to keep him busy until Noma reopens as an urban farm in Copenhagen. So he popped up in Tulum, on the Caribbean coast of Mexico, for seven weeks, to serve this type of thing:

Apparently the sauce recipe for that octopus is six pages long. And it will cost the locals about two months their average wages.

6. There’s a popular theory that you are the average of the five people you most spend time with. So this may sound brutal, but that’s why you might consider this multimillionaire CEO’s advice to dump your “loser” friends.

7. Here’s a parasite living in the eyeball of a fish:

And here’s a story about how scientists have learnt such parasites can “drive” a fish to make it evade predators when it needs its host to survive, and then take it out for a suicide mission spin when it needs the fish to be eaten by a bird.

8. The hottest ticket in the South Pacific will be for somewhere, some time in 2024. NASA’s chief scientists Ellen Stofan told The Sunday Times that when funding for the International Space Station runs out, it will be dismantled and crashed into the ocean. “The massive modules, fuel tanks and other components would generate a series of fireballs as they burn up in the atmosphere,” the Times reports.

9. Why hasn’t anyone made the perfect laptop? Is a great question from Steve Kovach.

10. In the US in 1961, a nuclear bomber armed with two hydrogen bombs was stationed permanently in the air as an insurance policy against a Russian attack on American soil. Which was a great idea until the plane suddenly spun out of control and crashed, and the bombs – 250 times more powerful than that dropped on Hiroshima – were flung out in the process. Fortunately, one got its parachute out and snagged in the tree. Yes, there’s an incredible photo:

Goldsboro mark 39 bomb hanging tree wikipediaUSAFOne of two 3.8-megaton Mark 39 thermonuclear bombs recovered after the Goldsboro incident of 1961.

But parts of the other one are still missing. Here’s the latest update from the US DoD.

BONUS ITEM: The US Air Force has been reusing space planes for years. Here’s the X-37B landing this morning after a two-year mission doing nobody-knows-what in space:

Have a great day.

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