10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Nothing to see here. Picture: YouTube/Press Association

It’s Monday and you know what Frank Spencer’s mum used to always say on a Monday:

“It’s Monday!”

1. Welcome to tech stocks, Atlassian. The Aussie productivity gurus had a hard landing Friday when their stock hit a low of $17.55. That means early investors are down 32.9% if they got in on the December IPO. But Atlassian weren’t alone – Facebook shed 5.8%, while LinkedIn lost an eyewatering 44% after forecasting a year of slow growth ahead. At least Messrs Cannon-Brookes and Farquhar can still be happy enough with a 45% increase in quarterly revenue.

2. It was a great weekend for explosions. YouTube video surfaced of a bunch of US soldiers surviving a 500-pound bomb dropped into their bunker by their own aircraft. Then a bus blew up on a London bridge.

But it was just for a movie with Jackie Chan in it. Small relief for just about everyone who remembered what happened in 2005, when terrorists blew the buses up.

3. Data. It’s the Lunar New Year, so things will be quieter than usual in Asia. But China still managed to cause some heartache with data released yesterday showing its massive foreign exchange reserves shrank for the third month in a row by another $100-odd billion or so. There’s still plenty going on this week, with New Zealand releasing a couple of housing reports and PMIs Thursday, the IEA’s closely watched Oil Market Report out tomorrow and US Fed chair Janet Yellen’s testimony mid-week. Our own RBA governor Glenn Stevens also has a testimony Friday morning. But before that we get NAB’s business survey for January and the Westpac-Melbourne Institute monthly measure of consumer sentiment. It’s all here in Greg McKenna’s diary.

4. Markets, where the ASX wasn’t awful to close half a per cent down for the week. That should change with the news out of China and BHP and Rio Tinto facing losses today after crude collapsed again Friday. The SPI 200 March contract is down 56 points, 1.1%. The dollar took a hit Friday and is just under 71 cents.

5. Apple is getting into VR and there’s no denying it. Here are all the staffs, startups and patents they’ve invested in. And they hadn’t visited Stanford University’s Virtual Human Interaction Lab in 13 years, but operator Jeremy Bailenson says they’ve dropped in three times in the last three months, and, in typical style:

“They come and they don’t say a word.”

We hope Bailenson said the appropriate thankyous.

6. But is Apple coming to the VR party too late? Here’s an alarming worst case scenario in 2016 for the world’s most valuable brand. It’s so scary, we’ve put a skull into the logo and all.

7. Superbowl is on! Pretend you’re interested by following it on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat! Then don’t watch NFL for another year.

8. This is John Schnatter:

Picture: Getty Images

You mightn’t know John, but in 1984 he sold this righteous ride for $2800:

Courtesy of John Schnatter.

He used the money to buy $1,600 worth of used restaurant equipment, and then turned a pub’s broom closet into a pizza business. Today, Papa John’s is worth $2.2 billion. And while he has these five ingredients for startup success to share with you, first note – Schnatter funded it by selling his car and has worked it for 32 years. That’s the old school style of business first, loads of cash later.

9. He might be able to replace that Camaro now with just about any Porsche ever made, which can be seen in this incredible museum in Stuttgart, Germany. Except SSchnatter will probably never get past the door, because Porsche intends to keep the warehouse hidden from public eyes. Fortunately, CAR Magazine’s editor-at-large, Chris Chilton, not only got a sneak peak, but also shot video inside the closely guarded facility. And here are the gorgeous highlights.

10. North Korea says it fired a space launch vehicle carrying an Earth observation satellite. South Korea says it was a long-range missile. Tomartoes, tomaytoes. The point is North Korea is clearly trying to make a point and its bonkers leader has already said he has the ability to strike the US mainland. So here are 5 things you need to know about whether that kind of thing can actually happen.

BONUS ITEM: You’d swear in a very NSFW manner too:

Have a great day.

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