10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Gills might not be such a bad idea. Picture: Columbia Pictures

Good morning.

1. The real photos of the storm damage in Sydney’s northern beach suburbs are alarming enough, but Facebookers have to go and share stuff like this:

Picture: Sydney Morning Herald

It’s actually from an SMH article in 2006, but the interesting bit is it’s a visualisation of what climate change would look like in 2050. Not 2016. The articles cites a UN report showing a 20cm rise in sea levels (which we’re not even close to) and a one-in-50-year storm (this was reportedly a 1 in 100) would cause an economic loss of $245 million. Today, 34 years ahead of schedule, one big storm and virtually no sea level rise since 2006 makes this recent Climate Institute estimate of a looming $90 billion disaster suddenly not seem so ridiculous.

2. To markets, where US Fed chair Janet Yellen kept markets climbing by hinting a June rate hike is off the table, but caused widespread hair loss by saying the positives outweigh the negatives, which means the Fed is likely to raise rates soon. SPI 200 futures liked that and with prices expected to open around 0.3% higher in trade this morning, yesterday’s rally on the ASX could today push the 200 beyond 5380. BHP and Rio Tinto had huge rallies of more than 6% and iron ore might be back on the upward track.

3. And it’s Rates Day here in Oz. But while there’s only a miniscule chance of any change, there’s almost a 100% chance of volatility following the utterance of the final par in the accompanying monetary policy statement at 2.30pm. So be prepared, with David Scutt’s 10-second guide to today’s RBA rate decision.

4. JPMorgan just released a newly relaxed dress code, calling for employees firmwide to abandon their suits in favour of polo shirts, casual pants, and dress sandals. Here’s why you should completely ignore it.

5. Just five years ago, crowdfunding was worth $880 million. Last year, it raked in $34 billion from you-and-me investors hoping to get on-board the next Uber or Pebble. Or, as is often the case, a poorly researched pipe dream from founders with no idea how they’d actually execute the rollout on the off-chance their wild idea somehow hits its funding goal. Like the team which claimed its “Triton” artificial gills would help a person breathe underwater. In March, the Triton team’s Indiegogo campaign was pulled after it raked in more than $800,000 – 16 times its initial goal. Here’s why, in an excellent post by Kevin Loria about why Triton should be a cautionary tale for everyone.

6. But if you’re still keen to chuck your money away on useless things, consider pre-ordering this smart toothbrush which streams live video of your teeth to your smartphone while you’re brushing.

7. The Dream Team may have to change its name for the Rio Olympics. The best basketballer on the planet, Stephen Curry, has reportedly dropped out of the US men’s team “to let his body heal”. Curry actually does have a niggling knee injury, which is handy, because at least he doesn’t have to resort to the “fears of zika” excuse. And his wife Ayesha doesn’t have to worry about models like Roni Rose giving her husband looks like this:

Rose has defended “that look” which went viral:

“Sooo I was just drinking my drink and this happened. I’m just giving the boys a little motivation I guess.”

8. Today in spoilers. A favourite character made a long-awaited comeback in this week’s episode “Game of Thrones”, but fans of the books are fuming about the arrival of one of their favourite characters. It’s was an all-too-brief cameo, and he didn’t even get to deliver his monologue, which reportedly is the best in the entire series. You can read it all here. And if you’ve got tickets to “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child” in London tomorrow night, JK Rowling wants you to keep the spoilers to yourselves and not spoil the release of the absolutely, definitely, not-another-Harry-Potter-book version when it’s released as a book next month.

9. As if the mere thought that a “Trump University” even exists isn’t hilarious enough, John Oliver went and made sure we knew it was a huge joke.

10. Tips for your success. These are the traits that made Steve Jobs a smart leader, according to his right-hand man, Ron Johnson, who led Apple’s retail team under Jobs. But if you prefer pictures, here’s one of 14 things successful people do in the first 10 minutes of the workday.

BONUS ITEM: You know that corny schtick where vacuum cleaner salesman chuck some light dirt on a bit of thin carpet and suck it up with your new $1500 machine? Tell them you want this demo instead:

Have a great day.

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