10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Good morning. Friday, Friday…

1. Markets overnight moved around a bit, then settled down for “muted returns”, according to Greg McKenna. Metals got hammered on futures, but the banks could save the ASX today. They’ve been surprisingly healthy since most reported disappointing earnings. SPI200 Futures (June) are down 47 points for a 0.9% loss and the dollar’s all over the shop, perhaps waiting for the reaction from its US counterpart after tonight’s big data drop, US non-farm payrolls. That happens at 11.30pm.

2. Bill’s Budget reply. The Leader of the Opposition had his moment last night and showed some courage on several fronts. For starters, he went after negative gearing, limiting it to new housing stock from July 2017. That will pull back $32 billion over the decade, helping meet Shorten’s target of $71 billion in savings over 10 years. He’d limit tax cuts to small businesses with turnover of less than $2 million, claiming Turnbull’s handout to not-so-small businesses – $10 million or less turnover – would cost taxpayers $49 billion over the decade. Oh, and he committed to marriage equality within 100 days of forming government. Random.

3. Like beer? Course you do. So you’ll love the medieval city of Bruges, in Belgium, where there’s so much beer in trucks on the roads its causes congestion. But in just a couple of weeks De Halve Maan (The Half Moon) brewery will start pumping 6000 litres beer through a 3km pipeline under the city to its bottling plant. The owner offset the $4.5 million cost by wooing crowdfunders, some of who received a lifetime supply of beer. But here’s the exciting bit – the brewery insists the pipeline will be impossible to illegally tap into.

4. This is just humiliating. Buzzfeed’s Mark di Stefano picked up a typo in the website for the Liberal National party’s candidate for the federal seat of Brisbane, 34-year-old Trevor Evans. It went something like this:

Wait – “Tim?” So Buzzfeed Googled the passage and came up with an identical one – on the website of fake US congressman, Tim Hawthorne. Oopsie.

5. A-10 Warthog, you are one ugly plane:

And you’re about to be replaced by the F-35, ending the era of the beloved “Warthog”. A US Air Force test pilot just gave the Armed Services Committee, which has been trying to save the Warthog, the only reason it should keep it. Apparently, it matches, or even outguns, the F-35 in this one crucial area.

6. Australia has a new RBA governor. It’s Phil Lowe, who’s done four years’ hard time under Glenn Stevens and delivered no less than 27 speeches since 2012 on the economy, from the role of government and the limits of monetary policy to national confidence and lending standards for banks. And here’s the brutal question he once put to the Australian business community which says he the right man for the job.

7. Craig Wright, the Australian man who explosively — and dubiously — claimed to have invented Bitcoin, says that he will not be providing any further proof of his claims. On his website he posted:

“I do not have the courage. I cannot. I know now that I am not strong enough to this.”

Wright said the allegations and attacks are too much for him and signed his post: “I can only say I’m sorry. And goodbye.”

8. How much does Donald Trump love Hispanics? This much:

They gave America taco bowl.

9. Oh, Optus. You paid so, so much for those English Premier League rights. Then Foxtel bought them all back by knocking on the door of six clubs for their delayed rights. Which, given most matches are played while Aussies are sleeping, means a match at 3am in Australia will be able to be watched in the afternoon of that same day. Those six clubs? Just Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool, with additional content from Arsenal, Manchester City and Tottenham.

10. Lionel Messi proved he wasn’t human for a Japanese game show:

That’s 22 metres, which is the equivalent of kicking it over the Great Sphinx.

Have a great weekend.

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