10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

It’s the first working Friday of 2016, and everyone needs a drink. But first:

1. The markets. Deep breath. George Soros says it’s the 2008 financial crisis all over again. Bill Gross thinks things are about to get so bad we’re all going to need a Xanax. They’re talking about all the grief China is causing after shutting the doors on its market less than 15 minutes from the open because everyone was trying to get out. That won’t happen today, which should be interesting. But the global panic is knocking the ASX – down 2.3% yesterday – and ASX futures were down another 1.4% overnight. That’s still close enough to hold support though, and Greg McKenna reckons traders will be watching for 4877 on the March SPI200, ready to take back some shorts. It’s sitting at 4,903 this morning.

2. The Aussie dollar is nothing if not predictable. That’s why forex traders love it, and the good ones are watching it right now as it slots into its rightful place in times of fear as the worst performer of the G10. It’s below 70 cents, down 3.84% this week, which is its worst start to a year since it floated in 1983. McKenna is rubbing his hands, ready to pounce if Chinese stocks can stabilise.

3. Lists! They’re like all the good bits of news, without all that – ugh – reading. And we’ve got so many good ones today, it’s just easier to list them:

4. This apartment life. For the first time, Australians are building more apartments than houses. If it’s because no one can afford a proper house anymore, that’s terrible news. But if it’s because those apartments have 300m ski slopes down to street level, like this concept in Kazakhstan:

…then it’s perfectly understandable.

5. Here’s how the weather looks in 2016: “Terrifying.”

6. Israel Broadcasting Authority reporter Eitam Lachover was convinced by the maker of a “stab-proof vest” that he let himself be stabbed in the stab-proof vest. Except it wasn’t and there is video. And a lesson for journalists – in all of these situations, say “Actually, how about I test it on you first?”

7. CES has got its mojo back. Yesterday, we saw a couple of Aussies sign a deal to have their tech in millions of GM’s cars, and a drone capable of carrying a 100kg person for 20 minutes. Today, it’s obvious Lyft is smoking Uber – in a show sense, at least. But the biggest reveal of all has to be this:

Madam, your luggage seems to have followed you home.

8. AAPL lost another 2% in trading overnight, bringing its recent drop to a total of 26%. Is this a problem, lots of brave bloggers are asking nervously, hoping it won’t cost them their invite to the next launch event. We’ll see – Jim Edwards is here to remind you it’s happened before. Remember CRAAPL?

9. Meet and gree- oh, wait. Londoner Rob Crego was travelling home on the Tube last night when former Labour leader Ed Miliband got into his carriage. Crego moved into the seat opposite and caught Miliband’s eye. And took a photo:

And has not slept since. Here’s how he described his brief encounter with fame/power.

10. If you’re hoping to become a millionaire before 25, a) congratulations on being younger than 25 and b) you might want to read this post about how horrible it is. All that interrogation from bank tellers and building up a reliance on private jets can ruin your life, according to these eight unfortunate junior moguls.

BONUS ITEM: A rubbish bin navigating its way down a flooded street. Welcome to entertainment, circa 2016:

Have a great weekend.

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