10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Don’t blow it, Slack. Picture: Paramount Pictures

1. Your week in data started three days ago with the monster print of 271,000 jobs in the US which crushed market expectations of 180,000. Lock in a US rate rise before Christmas, says Greg McKenna, and prepare for a week ahead of positioning, especially given China exports fell 6.9% against 3% expected on the weekend. There’s more numbers out of China this week with PPI and CPI released Tuesday and retail sales, industrial production and urban investment on Wednesday. Locally, we’ve got ANZ job ads today and the NAB’s monthly business survey tomorrow, but the big one is Thursday’s October labour force data. It’s all here in the NAB’s excellent calendar of all the key events and data.

2. The Aussie dollar got destroyed on Friday night. The US economy added far more jobs last month than anyone thought: 271,000, when the market was expecting 180,000. Result:

This is because the US dollar went nuts as markets immediately recalibrated their expectations for a when the US Federal Reserve will finally start raising interest rates. It’s all over bar the shouting, with the Fed expected to move in December.

3. Sydney stalling? It’s early days, but the signs are there that buyers are going cold on one of the world’s biggest bubble markets. Auction clearance rates have spent most of this year around the 80% mark, but in the past month, have plummeted roughly 5% a week to sit now at 59.5% from Saturday. This report from Domain notes that at some sales, “sellers were shocked to discover that no buyers had turned up to their auction”. A couple more weeks and we’re in the range where historically, prices start falling.

4. Ham ‘n cheese toasties are already amazing, but – and this sounds crazy – they could be better. We asked the cheese mongers at New York City’s famous Murray’s Cheese to show us how to take a toastie up a level and they gave us three tips, only one of which you’re likely to be following this morning.

5. Nobody on the internet can figure out what this mystery machine is:

It was found in a field in Arizona, US, weighs 450kg and has the internet trying to work out what it does. There’s a few clues, including this metal tags that say “Set bottom of scale to top punch entry”, “Upper punch penetration”, and “tablet thickness”. There are more pics here.

6. Spies are already trying to steal our new submarines. Not only have they not been built yet, they haven’t even been drawn. But one of the three bidders – Germany’s TKMS – says it receives as many as 40 hacking attempts per night, presumably from Chinese and Russian interests. So they, along with the other two bid teams from France and Japan, are now relying on hand deliveries of sensitive information about their plans for the Australian Navy. Yes, paper notes in class.

7. Remember Bitcoin? The digital currency that went from below $US200 in September 2013 to more than $US1100 by early 2014 and greedy noobs all over the world failing to understand how to get some? BI labelled it “a joke” when it hit $US260 and yes, the $US1000 bubble popped. But right now, two years later after holding firm around the $US260 “joke” mark, it’s at $US380. Here’s why it’s simply not going to go away.

8. Something else which was different in the sky over the US west coast, and everybody lost their minds:

But it was a military something, most likely a missile test. The people in charge of Twitter’s servers must be glad people in the Middle East don’t have the same reaction.

9. Weird jobs that people actually do. Here’s 12 very unusual services that a) are actually handy now that you know they exist and b) are worth considering for a bit of after-hours income. Professional cuddler, anyone? One guy told us he earns up to $1000 a week just by standing in wait lines for people, but the chicken sexer can have that one all to himself.

10. In the cricket, and the Kiwis are on the verge of a record. This is amazing. They’re 3/142 chasing another 362 runs, but in a desperate bid to make it sound interesting, the meeja’s saying UnZed needs to bat for 29.4 overs to beat their record of lasting 82.3 overs in a second innings against the Aussies, set in Adelaide in 2004. Which they lost by 213 runs.

BONUS ITEM: Strong language warning, but that shouldn’t be surprising when a temporary famer (Slack founder and CEO Stewart Butterfield) has a pop at a once-in-several generations actor (Robert De Niro). Here’s the back story to how this outburst from De Niro has Butterfield fending off a tweet storm of criticism:

That’s it. Go on, off with you.

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