10 Things You Need To Know This Morning In Australia

We’ve even got a beach named after him. Almost. Picture: MGM Columbia Pictures

It’s Friday, and we’re in love – with this update of all you need to know right now.

1. In Asia yesterday, Shanghai stocks are still going bonkers. The PBOC has been adding cash this week which is driving prices substantially higher. Just 4-6 weeks ago, our own Greg McKenna said we’d see Shanghai 3000 on a 12-month basis and here we are with the index closing yesterday at 2,899, up 25.67% on a three-month basis and 19.50% in the past month. (We told you he’s never wrong.)

Here’s the Asian Scoreboard:

  • Tokyo (Nikkei Average) up 0.94% to 17,887 as the yen hit 120
  • Hong Kong (Hang Seng Index) up 1.73% to 23,833
  • Shanghai (Shanghai Composite Index) up an incredible 4.3% to 2,899

2. The Aussie is at 0.8385 after finding some support at 0.8353 last night which is right on the bottom of a three-year down channel. The euro rallied to 1.2456 but crashed into overhead resistance and is back at 1.2379 this morning.

3. Team Rate Cut. Westpac’s chief economist Bill Evans is suddenly on board the notion of not just one rate cut, but three, formally changing the bank’s call. Evans said that Westpac now expected the RBA to cut rates twice in February and then again in March 2015 in order to take out “insurance” on the economy “in an effort to bolster domestic demand and lower the AUD. He still thinks rates will rise again in 2016.

4. The Aussie startup scene is finally starting up. Venture capitalists are slowly opening their wallets to big ideas Down Under. Adventure Capital is one confidently trying to raising between $40 million and $60 million to invest in around 30 startups in the first half of 2015, and has lured former Salesforce and Twitter engineering boss Chris Fry to help out.

5. The Vatican ain’t broke. Not by a long shot, says Australia’s Cardinal George Pell, who’s been appointed by Pope Francis to find out where all the money’s going. Into secret accounts, Pell says, having just completed one of many audits ahead of him now he’s the Vatican’s head of finances. Despite claims earlier this year that the Vatican was verging on penniless, Pell found:

“Some hundreds of millions of euros were tucked away in particular sectional accounts and did not appear on the balance sheet.”

6. Embrace your inner baldy. Especially if your outer baldy is well beyond denial. There’s plenty of guys who rock the bald look, most notably action movie ace Jason “The Stathe” Staham, and you should too, as soon as you get the chance. You’ll look hotter and younger if you take our tips on how to do it properly.

7. How Aussies use the internet. Long gone are the days of that “90% of web browsing is for porn” myth that suspicious wives and wowsers kicked around when we all first got online. These days, the internet has wormed its way in just about every aspect of our daily lives. The Australian Communications and Media Authority released its annual report detailing how Australians used the internet this year and there’s a couple of eye-openers. For starters, we’re second in the world when it comes to buying stuff online, and we’ve nearly doubled our downloading since the last report. It’s all in a slide deck here.

8. Jailed journalist wins a Walkley. Australian Al Jazeera journalist Peter Greste is serving a seven-year prison sentence in Egypt for basically doing his job. Nearly a year ago, he was convicted of supporting the blacklisted Muslim Brotherhood group and spreading false news. Last night, he was honoured for going where very, very few other journalists are willing to go with Australia’s premier journalism award, a Walkley. “Well-earned” just doesn’t seem enough, but at the very least, it’s a strong message of support he deserves. And congratulations to Adele Ferguson from The Age on her top gong, the Gold Walkley, for her coverage of the financial advisers scandal.

9. Our favourite study of the day confirms rich people are d..ks. Well, studies, cited by Flash Boys and Moneyball author Michael Lewis in an article he wrote for New Republic. Rich people give less money away, take candy from kids, are more likely to shoplift and try to run over pedestrians. Even brain scans show they lack empathy. Think about that when you wonder why you can’t find a decent boss to work for – the poor dears were born that way.

10. James Bond hates Australia. The 24th Bond movie will be called ‘Spectre’. It has people in it, like Moriarty from Sherlock, girls, and the scary one from Inglourious Basterds. Like many Bond films before it, Aston Martin get to plug their beautiful, but oh-so-Britishly flawed machinery. And like all Bond films before it, none of the glamorous locations will be in Australia.

Just. Sayin’.

BONUS ITEM: Australia’s Foreign Minister Julie Bishop surely broke some kind of record for the most emojis in a politician’s thank-you tweet:

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