10 things you need to know this morning in Australia

Death always wins. Picture: Columbia

Good morning.

1. Markets, and the US Fed held, as expected. The board acknowledged the recent slowdown in the US economy, but said it expected it to be “transitory”. It’s all put the Aussie dollar under huge pressure. National Australia Bank posted a 2.3% increase in cash earnings boosted by fees and gains from hedging. But the big news is this activist hedge fund manager in the US trying to get BHP off the ASX.

2. Trump strategist Steve Bannon gave the world a peek at his road map to “Make America Great Again”:

Every promise made by Trump is on the board, and there seems to be a lot of ticks next to them. Here’s a closer look.

3. People want Stephen Colbert fired because he said the only thing the US president’s mouth was good for was as “Vladimir Putin’s c..k holster”. Well, people on Twitter. They weren’t offended by the language, but were very concerned by its homophobic nature. Colbert defenders put it down to handwringers not getting Colbert’s “satire”, but hey, that argument didn’t wash with “racist” PewDiePie, so it shouldn’t here, either. Here’s the #FireColbert rant:

4. It was Facebook’s turn to take the stage in Q1 earnings, and it raked in a cool $US8 billion for the quarter. That’s growth of 49%. Nearly 2 billion people use the social network each month, and it hired 1700 people in the last quarter. But here’s why stock dipped a little after the call.

5. At Atlassian’s first European Summit in Barcelona, co-founder Scott Farquhar said the Australian government is slowly realising how tech can change the way we work but needs to pay more attention to where its innovators can lead the world. And to stop celebrating Atlassian’s wins and focus more on people like the University of South Australia professor who’s sold more than $160 million worth of his plastic rear-view mirrors.

6. This is kind of a big deal:

The Larsen C ice shelf rift snaking into the distance. Picture: John Sonntag/IceBridge/NASA Goddard Space Flight Center

It’s the crack in the Larsen C ice shelf in Antarctica, and it could calve off any minute now. When it does, it will release an iceberg close to three-quarters the size of Tasmania into the ocean. But it’s what happens to the rest of Antarctica after that has scientists really worried.

7. Tesla reported a wider loss than expected. Revenues were up, but the EPS loss of $US1.33 was significantly higher than the 83 cents expected. But it also reported that its production facilities were “on track” to start churning out 5000 vehicles per week in 2017 and 10,000 in 2018. Which it needs to be, as pre-orders for the Model 3 sit around 400,000. But it looks like Tesla has the supercharger rollout in the US covered:

8. Netflix and Marvel are ready to pull together the poor man’s Avengers. To be honest, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Daredevil and Iron Fist have provided only just above average fare on the streaming network. Maybe they’ll prove more engaging as a team when “The Defenders” lands on August 18. But if you want a good story, bet on writers. Like Stephen King, whose “Dark Tower” series is finally about to hit the big screen. Here’s your first look at the Gunslinger and the Man in Black, and here’s how to load a six-shooter in style:

9. Some people enjoy running. For the rest of us, here’s what we always knew deep down in our hearts – the four terrible things that happen to your body when you run too much. Just leave earlier and walk.

10. Got a great idea and need to sell it? The authors of “The New Rules of Work” are here for you, with a simple formula for crafting an “elevator pitch” you can use just about anywhere. Your 30 seconds starts now.

BONUS ITEM: It’s graphic and sad, but that’s point. It’s also extremely well made:

Have a great day.

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